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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

The History of Toasting: Episode #10

toasting


Why do we toast, and why is it called “toasting?”  Lizzie and Dan have the answer, and yes, it does involve actual toast.

ALSO MENTIONED:

  • Margaret Visser’ s Rituals of Dinner.
  • The most no-frills wedding ever.
  • Hats: when to wear them, when to remove them.
  • Jessica, who has Crohn’s disease and is unfailingly polite.
  • Nose-blowing and tissue disposal.
  • An etiquette salute to an absent friend.

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Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute answer your questions about etiquette in the 21st century. Awesome Etiquette guides listeners through everything from traditional etiquette quandaries to newly emerging issues in the modern world. Want to know more? Click.

Invitation Separation: What to do About Inviting a Guest Who Could Cause a Problem

Q: I am the maid of honor at my little sister’s wedding – a very low-key, low budget affair. Our Mom & Dad are paying for “some” of her wedding and have added people to her list that are family friends. While I understand, this is customary, they also want to invite a peer who is not friends with anyone and – actually – is disliked by some in the wedding party. Is it correct that anyone that my parents invite should be ok with the bride and groom?

A: The basic guideline is that invitations are divided into thirds – one-third for the bride’s parents, one-third for the groom’s parents, and one-third for the bride and groom. If one “group” doesn’t need all its invitations, they get divided between the other two groups.  It is presumed that those invited are people who are meaningful in the lives of those on whose list they appear. If there is a conflict, however, there is nothing wrong with, as in this case, your sister talking to your parents about the perceived problem with the person on their list who is troublesome to others. Hopefully, clear communication can help them reach accord. Particularly if this person presents a problem for your sister, your parents should take her concerns seriously.

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Monumental Mortification: How to Handle Accidentally Passing Gas

Q: I know it sounds silly, but sometimes when I’m laughing, I accidentally pass gas. I’m so embarrassed, but I’m not sure how to handle the situation!

A: Simply apologize and move on. This is something that can happen to anyone and should not be a cause for further merriment or discussion, as much as it can seem embarrassing and requiring comment. Just say “Oops, sorry . . .. and continue the conversation. The less you make of it the less other will, as well.