Meat and Greet: Greeting guests in your home

Q: My husband and I are having a disagreement. When any friend of our teenage daughter enters our house, my husband thinks that they should greet us first. I say that they are guests in our home and we should greet them first. A steak dinner is riding on this…which one of us is right?

A: When a guest enters a room, the host should rise and greet the guest. The same goes for a new person entering a room where others are gathered. The people there should rise and greet the person entering. If your daughter answers the door, she should bring her friend to greet you. For example, your daughter would say “Mom and Dad, Greg is here.” You would then greet Greg, and Greg would then (hopefully!!!) say “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It’s nice to see you again.”

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Think Before you Drink: Should you drink if no one else is?

Q: Is it appropriate to order an alcoholic drink during dinner when no one else is?

A: During a social dinner, it would be appropriate to order a glass of wine. Generally, hard liquor drinks are ordered before the meal is served. At a business dinner when others have ordered a pre-dinner alcoholic drink, it would be appropriate to order a glass of wine. If no one has ordered an alcoholic drink by the time dinner is served, it would be wise to abstain.

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Recommendation Appreciation: Writing thank-you’s for people who helped with College/ Scholarship Applications

Q: Please tell me what is an appropriate way to thank someone for writing a reference letter – my daughter has had a number of teachers write letters to accompany scholarship applications for her university entrance. Some of her applications are for full scholarships, but some will be for lesser awards. What do you think would be an appropriate token of our appreciation – my daughter thinks that because the potential result could be significant, so should the thank you. —– Could there be an initial thank-you gift, and a follow-up, if she in fact did receive a major scholarship? – or is there a correct way to do it once?

A: Your daughter should send a handwritten note to her teachers, who wrote reference letters, no matter what the outcome. It is not necessary but would be appropriate, if the outcome is favorable, to let the teachers know either in person or in writing. A gift is not necessary.