Recommendation Appreciation: Writing thank-you’s for people who helped with College/ Scholarship Applications

Q: Please tell me what is an appropriate way to thank someone for writing a reference letter – my daughter has had a number of teachers write letters to accompany scholarship applications for her university entrance. Some of her applications are for full scholarships, but some will be for lesser awards. What do you think would be an appropriate token of our appreciation – my daughter thinks that because the potential result could be significant, so should the thank you. —– Could there be an initial thank-you gift, and a follow-up, if she in fact did receive a major scholarship? – or is there a correct way to do it once?

A: Your daughter should send a handwritten note to her teachers, who wrote reference letters, no matter what the outcome. It is not necessary but would be appropriate, if the outcome is favorable, to let the teachers know either in person or in writing. A gift is not necessary.

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New Venues: Changing the Place of your Wedding

Q: It’s less than two weeks from the wedding date. The wedding must be moved from being held at my home to a small local church. How do I notify the invited quests? Please respond with all possible options. Thank you!

A: When it is necessary to change the venue of the wedding and the new venue is decided upon after the invitations have been printed but before they are mailed, it is not necessary for the bride to order new invitations. Instead she may enclose a printed card, if there is time print one, saving “The wedding will take place at St. John’s Lutheran Church instead of your address.” If there is not time for the card, she may neatly cross out the old information on the invitation and insert the correct information by pen. If the invitations have already been mailed, she may mail a card or a personal note, or if the guest list is small, telephone the information. If there is no time to have a card printed, the information must be communicated by telephone, fax, or e-mail, or by a personal note.

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Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Didn’t mean to Pop your Bubble: Chewing Gum in Public

Q: What is the etiquette for chewing gum? Is it ever appropriate to chew it in public?

A: Gum chewing ought to be confined to private times or the company of close friends: not during class, at work, or in worship services, and not when in conversation. Young people must understand that watching someone chew gum is, as older generations say, “like watching a cow chew its cud.” Be discreet (mouth closed, no smacking or popping). Wrap used gum and dispose of it in a waste container. Never drop chewed gum or wrappers on the ground.