Episode #44: It’s Important to Remember What’s Behind It

Lizzie and Dan break down the difference between manners and principles. Because sometimes we can all get too focused on how a particular rule is being broken and miss that the core values of etiquette are still being shown.

ALSO MENTIONED:

  • A mother-in-law who won’t stop bringing gifts that are more to her taste.
  • How many starters is too many starters?
  • Tips on handling a cash bar.
  • With kids home from college for the summer, some advice on how to redefine the domestic relationships.
  • Keeping gym time as “me” time.
  • Emily Post’s 1922 etiquette advice on leaving out presents at weddings.
  • A salute to a party host who helped a guest through their biggest social faux pas.

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Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute answer your questions about etiquette in the 21st century. Awesome Etiquette guides listeners through everything from traditional etiquette quandaries to newly emerging issues in the modern world. Want to know more? Click.

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Horrid Humming : Is it Rude to Hum Around Others?

Q. Is it considered bad etiquette to Hum around others? and I’m not talking about a choir. I’m talking about co-workers, friends and family members? Maybe I need to be more tolerant of the habitual hummer. Please advise.

A. Most people hum when they are happy or heard a tune they can’t get out of their minds.  Many people are unaware they are humming or don’t realize their humming is intrusive to others.  If their humming really bothers you or interferes with your work, you may tactfully explain.  Or you may take the higher road and say nothing.

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Invitation Issue : How do you Narrow down Guest lists?

Q. My son is getting married this summer. We have given the bride a list of about 100 guests. Her parents list is right now at 185. The bride tells me that it is etiquette that if names need to be cut off of the list they come off of the grooms family list not the bride. That the brides family gets to invite as many people as they want because they are paying for the wedding and it’s all about what the bride wants not the groom. So if her parents decide there are too many guests on the list they will cut our list and not theirs. Is this true? Doesn’t seem right to me. We are also planning our daughters wedding a month later and are inviting the same as the grooms parents. Seem only fair to me.

A. Traditionally each family is allotted half of the desired total guest count, a figure determined largely by the person hosting the wedding.  A way of starting to decide whom to invite is to combine four lists, thus formulating the master list.  Start with lists from the bride, the groom, the bride’s, and the groom’s parents.  It is necessary that everyone make up their lists realistically.  As acceptances and regrets become known, the weight’s of the lists may vary.