Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Mad Hatter : When is it acceptable to wear a hat ?

Q.  I have an etiquette question. I have recently begun to wear hats. Straw, felt. wool, linen,each according to season and place. Having never seen my father wear a hat I have no first hand training. After entering a public building, say a bank, do I take it off right away or wait until I approach the person I’m dealing with. What about a smaller setting such as a restaurant? As I enter or as I’m seated? I work in an informal office–all friends of some 10 to 20 years and no clients, it is all phone business–can I wear my hat in my office without mistake? One last one, I do presentations at trade shows much, if not all the time. I feel the hat into the show is okay but once at the booth, off it comes. By work buddies say it is okay in the booth and adds a different flavor. What is your opinion?

A.  As to your hat question, always remove your hat upon entering a building. (That keeps it simple!) Of course, in your extremely informal office, I am sure no one would object to you wearing your hat indoors. At the trade show, again, one would probably remove one’s hat upon entering the building, but if wearing your hat during your presentation is part of your “look,” then go ahead and wear it!

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Funeral Formalities: Should Ex spouses be in attendance?

Q: I have been researching whether or not it is appropriate for my new husband to attend his ex wife’s funeral. They have an adult daughter that will be there and a lot of family from the ex wife’s side. She had been sick ever since they were married. He wants to support his daughter but feels it will be disrespectful to the ex wife. Please give us some advice.

A: Generally, a divorced spouse stays in the background. A note of sympathy is usually called for. An offer of help may be included, but only if you know it will be welcome. A donation to the deceased’s designated charity may be preferable to sending flowers. It’s usually best not to attend the visitation. A divorced spouse can attend the funeral as long as his presence won’t cause discomfort for the family. A divorced spouse does not sit with the family unless asked to. If graveside services are limited to family, a former spouse should not attend unless specifically invited.

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.