Did My Invite Get Lost in the Mail? : What to do when you didn’t receive an invite

Q. Everyone in my office has been invited to a co-worker’s wedding, but I have not received an invitation. I am as friendly with this person as most others, and there is definitely no reason for me not to be invited. How can I find out if I was really invited and invitation was lost?

A. There is really no right way to ask if you’ve been invited to a wedding or other event. You only have one course of action: You simply wait, and if you really were invited and the invitation was indeed lost, the host will contact you after the reply date to find out why you haven’t yet responded. It would be considered poor etiquette to approach the bride/groom and ask them directly.

Your other option is to ask a close, mutual friend or coworker to ask the bride and provide you, discreetly, with the answer. If you choose this option, be prepared for a possible disappointment.

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Work Irks : What to do when people abuse their speakerphone

Q. What can be done about people who use speaker phones in the office to carry on conversations – business or personal? I think it’s rude and reflects on the laziness of those people who will not pick up a handset to dial or receive phone calls. It’s bad enough to hear one side of the conversation, let alone two (or more if it’s a conference call).

A. You are correct, a speakerphone should be used only in closed offices and ideally when more than one person is one the receiving end. If possible, these calls should be made from conference rooms in order to avoid disturbing others in the workplace.

Handling the situation, however, requires tact and diplomacy. You can approach the offending personnel politely, and say something like, “I know you probably have no idea, but when you use your speakerphone it is really distracting and I find it hard to get my work done.” Avoid name calling or using the word “rude,” just be straightforward and honest in presenting your predicament. Asking nicely that they refrain from broadcasting their calls.

Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

What About Mom and Dad? : Are you still required to send invitations to your parents?

Q. Are wedding invitations sent to members of the bridal party and parents if the bride and groom?

A. Yes, you send  your attendants, invitations. The invitations indicate exactly who is invited and serve as a nice memory, as well. You don’t have to mail your parents invitations but it is nice to give each a complete invitation for them to have.