iPad Etiquette

The iPad from Apple, it’s a book, it’s e-mail, it’s your social network or your office, it’s your music and your photos plus the apps for all of that.

And the more ways we can use a device, the more we’ll want to take a look at how using it affects those around us.

In a nutshell, that’s how “old” etiquette is applied to new technology.

If you have an iPad, here are a few places you might find yourself:

First, be prepared for curious stares and questions from strangers. Don’t break it out in public unless you’re ready to play show and tell, and possibly share. “Can I see it? Can I touch it? Can I try it?” Know your answer, because like a proud momma with a new infant, all the old ladies will want to hold your baby.

Have kids? Set the rules for use first thing. Tell them it’s only for mommy’s or daddy’s work, or else be prepared to lose your latest spreadsheet when you walk in the door.

Back at the office, think about your work culture. Will the iPad be a handy tool or overkill? Be explicit with colleagues about what you’re using it for, such as taking notes or checking a calendar, so they don’t think you’re playing Angry Birds during your morning meeting.

The reading feature is a huge component of iPad use, so feel free to pull it out during your morning commute. The upside: No more awkwardly folding your newspaper into a postage stamp. The downside? People are bound to read over your shoulder; until iPads are ubiquitous, curiosity will draw wandering eyes.

When you’re with your family, equate iPad reading to the same choices you make with your books and magazines. For example, if your family is watching “Dancing With The Stars” but it isn’t your thing, and you’d be reading a magazine during the show regardless, fire up the iPad. Just consider dimming it if the room is dark.

But if the idea is to spend quality time interacting with your family, put it away. Even if you think you’re paying attention, you won’t look like it — and that’s all that’s going to matter to your spouse.

Without question, turn it off at the dinner table. Reading in bed is another time to think about dimming the iPad. Again, how will it affect others? If their light is out, it’s time to dim.

What about reading in the car? It’s sad to have to spell this out, but never use it if you’re the driver! Causing an accident is the ultimate rudeness, to say the least.

from Essential Manners For Men

How To Be A Good Host: Six tips

• Greet guests when they arrive.
• Circulate among your guests, introduce strangers, and stay long enough to get a conversation started.
• Keep an eye on your guests and offer to refill drinks as needed.
• Balance the need to cook with taking care of your guests, so keep your menu simple.
• Thank each guest for coming when they prepare to depart.

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Registry Etiquette

Registries are incredibly organized and helpful, and it is not “greedy” to register.  Most guest find registries a very efficient way to select a gift that the couple would like, would need, and that wouldn’t be duplicated by other guests.  While it’s okay to have more than one registry, draw the line at three.  You want to be helpful by offering your guests variety, not self-indulgent by listing your every wish in the world.

It’s fine to have a less traditional registry – one with gardening equipment or camping gear – but include a traditional one, too, even if it isn’t very full.  Many guests, especially older ones, will feel much more comfortable with a few classic options.  As shower gifts are typically less expensive than wedding gifts, it might be a good idea to set up a shower registry separate from your wedding registry with lower-priced items, especially if there is a shower theme.

The best registries have a mix of both prices and types of items, so that all of your guests will feel comfortable finding something they will be excited to give you.

Just remember: in the end, the choice of gift is always up to the giver, so great-aunt Edna might still buy you a blender.

from Essential Manners For Men

How To Be A Good Guest: Five tips

• R.S.V.P. Tell your host whether you can attend, and do so immediately.
• Be on time: Do not arrive early or more than fifteen minutes late.
• Offer to help when you can.
• Don’t overindulge: whether it is the pate or the cabernet.
• Thank the host twice: on your way out the door and with a phone call or a written note the next day.

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Men’s Manners: How People View Us

from Essential Manners For Men, 2nd Edition

In a 2011 Emily Post Institute survey, respondents told us where men are most likely to have significant problems with their appearance.  Failing to bathe, foul language and smoking all emerged as major issues.

Failure To Bathe

Each of us is responsible for the image we project.  Taking that responsibility seriously is a clear signal of your respect for others.  If you choose to go on a date without cleaning up first, you are responsible when your date decides they don’t want to see you again.

Smoking

It used to be a smoker’s world.  You could light up just about anywhere–in an airplane, in a cab or in a restaurant–with total freedom.  Not anymore.  Nobody is impressed with a person who smokes where smoking is prohibited.  The smell of smoke on your clothes or in your car can also be bothersome to others.

Swearing

Swearing is a cultural issue.  Certain groups may be comfortable with the use of certain words while others may not be.  People also have differing opinions about what constitutes swearing.  Bottom line:  Being careful to choose our words so we don’t offend our listeners is a lesson we all need to learn periodically.  If you’re not sure if swearing will bother someone, be considerate and hold your tongue.

from Essential Manners For Men

Gym Etiquette: Respecting the rules

• Follow time limits and schedules for all machines.  Start on time and end on time.
• Don’t monopolize the machines.  Don’t use them as spare seats, and don’t stand around them while talking to your buddies.
• Make sure you wipe down your machine after use.
• Despite what some magazines say, the gym is not the place to hit on someone.
• Know the difference between a look and a stare.  Avoid the latter.

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

Pregnancy Etiquette In The 21st Century

From tweeting during labor to having your big news scooped on Facebook, sharing the news of pregnancy has a modern etiquette all its own.

There are few pieces of news as exciting to share as pregnancy. Whether it is a first or fifth, a surprise or long hoped for, it is joyful news.

The choice about who to tell and when will vary from family to family. Though some couples share the news as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed, it’s smart to wait until the first trimester is well in hand. Most people tell immediate family first, followed by close friends.

If you’re one of the first to know, this conversation may be accompanied by a request to hold the information close until the couple has the chance to tell others personally.

Some will make an announcement at a family event to make sure their closest loved ones hear about it directly from them.

Facebook has added an extra twist: Until the couple is ready for anyone to know about a pregnancy, they might restrict their Facebook wall to prevent an over-eager well wisher from spilling the beans. Even if a Facebook wall is active, be sure the news is truly public knowledge before posting congratulations.

If you deduce someone is expecting, either from an extra glow or a declined glass of wine, show respect by allowing her to tell you in her own time. When she breaks the news, it’s okay to share the insight you had then.