Comments for Emily Post's Etiquette Daily

Comment on Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Happy Birthday Etiquette Daily by Aspiring Emily

Aspiring Emily — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:42:19 +0000

I can’t believe this site has only been up and running one year. I must have found it right away. I love reading the thoughtful questions and answers and hope you keep up the great work!!

Comment on Open thread by Graceandhonor

Graceandhonor — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 20:21:19 +0000

It would be better if your mother-in-law writes notes to those she wishes to inform of her husband’s passing:

Dear Jack and Johnnie,

I want to let you know that George passed away March 3rd after suffering a heart attack at home. His funeral was on the 6th at our church and he was buried in the church cemetary.

George often spoke fondly of his days in the military with you, Jack, and I wanted you to know this before too much time passed. I hope you’ll stay in touch as I would enjoy hearing news of your family.

Love,

Ellen

No mention should be made of charitable contributions, etc. unless asked for it. My condolences to your family.

Comment on Which Wedding?: When to give a gift by Graceandhonor

Graceandhonor — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:39:43 +0000

The bride was being inclusive and well-mannered in reaching out to you with an invitation and while you cannot attend, it would be gracious to send a gift. How much you spend is up to you and contingent on several factors…do you know her well? Would you like to? Will you be in-laws someday? How crazy are you about your boyfriend? Do you want to demonstrate your warm and caring nature to him? Can you come up with an imaginative gift that also watches your budget?

At the minimum, write a warm note to the hostess to decline the invitation, and one to the bride expressing your regrets at not being able to spend the fun day with her.

Comment on Etiquette Obligations: Wedding gift commitments by Graceandhonor

Graceandhonor — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:31:19 +0000

It would be helpful to you both to receive pre-marital counselling so that issues of lifestyle and outlook can be addressed. I say this because your problem is an example of a fundamental difference that more than likely will become very evident in other ways and contentious as time goes on. I hope this counselling will help him to realize he is selfish and how to overcome it.

A true friend and caring person would be open-palmed with his loved ones, and indeed understand his lap would then overflow with blessings. This is the more important issue than the faux-pas of not giving friends a gift in celebration of one of the most important events in their lives. You obviously note the irony of his enthusiasm of being on the receiving end now.

Should you decide to marry this man, and you do receive counselling, I hope you both will come to the understanding that you will take on the responsibility of shopping for gifts as well as other social duties. Generally, its best if both partners participate enthusiastically, but when one falls short, the other should cover their mutual bases. This is a basic building block in many aspects of a strong marriage, IF there is mutual give and take.

In terms of wedding etiquette, go ahead and register, and without fail, write and mail thank you notes for each and every gift immediately upon its receipt. Do not be surprised if you do not receive something from those your fiance ignored, but take it upon yourself to seek out each person who gives you a gift to verbally thank them for it, in addition to writing a thank you note. After you are married, make a point of entertaining each wedding couple your fiance slighted and go out of your way to soothe ruffled feathers. This will distinguish you as a caring woman who your finance is unbelievably blessed to have landed.

Comment on Open thread by Graceandhonor

Graceandhonor — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:01:15 +0000

I have seen pairs of flutes received as wedding gifts which were used in the bridal toast at a reception. I have also seen the bride purchase them, or the reception venue supply them. I would suggest that if you receive “competing” pairs, thought should be given to the relationship and sentiment attached to each, and that be the basis of your decision on which to use.

Comment on Open thread by Pete

Pete — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:55:51 +0000

Is there a specific person or people who traditionally buy the wedding champagne flutes? Two people gave us flutes and I am unsure which ones to use.

Comment on Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Happy Birthday Etiquette Daily by Cindy Post Senning

Cindy Post Senning — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:27:19 +0000

Happy Birthday Daily,

I have really enjoyed the growth of the Daily community. Your thoughtful responses and comments have built exactly the conversation we were looking for. It’s been great to hear your thoughts and we hope you will continue to visit the site and participate in the growing conversation.

With deep appreciation,
Cindy

Comment on Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Happy Birthday Etiquette Daily by Daniel Post Senning

Daniel Post Senning — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:30:34 +0000

How about a quick role call? There are several people who have established a presence on this blog and this is a personal shout out for them. The unbelievable GraceandHonor gets a special mention and how appropriate that we see you on our community birthday. Matt Goodman, the first Emily Post Intern to embrace the daily, greetings on your back-packing adventure whatever country this finds you in. Red, Devora, Jay, and the others who chip in with answers and insight also, thank you. If I have left you off the list or you sense it is time to leave your wall-flower days behind and join the conversation, feel free to introduce yourself below.

Or maybe you have idea for future directions to take this blog? I would love to hear what you all would like to see in the next year at the Etiquette Daily.