Comments for Etiquette Daily

Comment on Color Choice: Wearing white at a rehearsal dinner by Maggie

Maggie — Fri, 24 May 2013 02:12:10 +0000

Amen to the thank you notes! Went to a friends wedding a year ago and never received a thank you note for a gift. This was not a young bride. Etiquette and manners seem to be going extinct.

Comment on Open Thread by Cyra

Cyra — Thu, 23 May 2013 20:13:29 +0000

I think–although not everyone agrees–that you need only send a gift if you are attending. Some people think you should send a gift if you are invited.

But if you’re not invited, you definitely don’t need to send a gift. A note of congratulations/best wishes would be totally sufficient.

Comment on Open Thread by Jan Kouvoussis

Jan Kouvoussis — Thu, 23 May 2013 19:15:22 +0000

I received an e mail from my brother to “feel me out” My nephew is getting married in September. He and his bride have a lot of friends and family and they are making their guest list. They want to know if I will go or not.

This is the first time I have received a “Feel Out”

I replied that it would be more appropriate for them to have their best friends and family with them on their big day.

Do I send a gift to my brother or to them – I don’t know where they live…or do I not send a gift at all ??????????

Comment on Gift-Giving for Kids by Cyra

Cyra — Thu, 23 May 2013 15:59:27 +0000

One suggestion now would be to spend time with various groups of the family choosing a gift for whoever isn’t there. For example, “Kid1′s birthday’s coming up, what should the four of us do for him/her?” or “Kids, let’s all go shopping and buy Christmas presents for Dad!” This way you’re helping to establish a culture of gift-giving in the family that focuses on the joy of the recipient rather than “we’d better get mom a gift so she doesn’t get mad at us.”

Comment on Gift-Giving for Kids by Nina

Nina — Thu, 23 May 2013 14:42:08 +0000

When I was quite little, my parents started giving me a few dollars and taking me to a store to pick out gifts for whoever’s birthday it was–theirs, my brother’s, a school friend. Other times they would help me pick a craft project to make for the birthday person. The idea was that the amount of money didn’t matter (eventually I had a job and used my own money) but spending time and thinking about what the person might like did matter. My sister-in-law does the same for her kids–this past Christmas, we received a box of cat toys for our cats and a hand-drawn card from the little girls (ages 5 and 2) addressed to my husband and me and the kitties. Obvious, the children did not actually buy the gifts, but they picked them out and felt happy to think of us enjoying them. Best gift I got!

I know some families don’t put emphasis on birthdays or gifts, which is fine, but if gifts are important that’s something parents need to teach their kids. How else will they learn? The parents should definitely talk to their kids about what giving a gift means and the reasons for doing so–it sounds like that talk is long overdue!

Comment on Open Thread by Alicia

Alicia — Thu, 23 May 2013 03:13:47 +0000

I think it is both. Applause is in some way saying hey I agree with the compliment. So it sort of says I agree with the person saying that the honoree is worthy of honor.

Comment on Open Thread by Cyra

Cyra — Wed, 22 May 2013 21:58:27 +0000

Hi Lindsey,

I would assume the applause is for the person receiving the honor. Why, then, we applaud when the recipient is not present I have no idea. I actually attended a meeting yesterday where 4 awards were given, and not one recipient was there! We clapped after each announcement nonetheless, which felt a bit awkward to me.

Comment on Open Thread by Paula

Paula — Wed, 22 May 2013 21:33:07 +0000

While she should have been more specific with you, it sounds like she just wants you to be there for her on the wedding day, to help her get dressed and be there to support her since she’ll probably be nervous.

Comment on Destination Weddings: Your presence is not a gift! by Kathleen

Kathleen — Wed, 22 May 2013 21:22:04 +0000

Meghan, you sound like a wonderful bride!

Comment on Open Thread by Lindsey

Lindsey — Wed, 22 May 2013 19:51:13 +0000

My question regarding etiquette has to do with giving and receiving a compliment in the company of a group. When the group applauds, who is being recognized? The person who gave the compliment or the person who received the complement? Thanks!