Generous Gifting: How Much to Spend on Wedding Gifts?

Q: Is there an ‘appropriate standard’ for how much money you should plan on giving as a wedding gift? Years ago, $100 seemed like a generous gift, however, this amount might be considered ‘low’ by today’s standards.

A: You would give what you can afford, that is reasonable, that is roughly the equivalent of what you would spend on a gift, were you buying a gift instead.  A gift of $100 is still generous today.

Dress Difficulty: Is it Appropriate to Wear a Dress Similiar to the Bridesmaids?

Q: Is it appropriate for the groom’s mother to wear a dress that has similar colors as the bridesmaids?

A: The guidelines are the mothers should try not to wear the same color as the bridesmaids or the bride is wearing. Nor should both mothers wear the same color. However, again these are only guidelines.If the bride has no objection, it would be fine for the groom’s mother to wear similar colors as the bridesmaids as long as the style and fabric of her outfit doesn’t imitate that of the bridesmaids’ dresses.

Calling it Close: What to do When Wedding Guests Dont RSVP?

Q: Is it acceptable to call (phone) wedding invitees who have not responded via printed, stamped RSVP cards, to ask if they are coming?

A: Yes, it is. Call them, by all means. It is not at all rude to do so – the rudeness is on their part for not responding in time. You can be very upbeat and friendly – “just making final plans and hadn’t heard from you – we’re so hoping you can come to the wedding and I’m calling to see if you will be with us.”

Wedding Invitations: Is it OK to Request Money?

Q: I Just received an invitation to a wedding the message reads as follows: Your presence at our wedding is present enough! But if we’re honored with a gift from you, may we request a gift of money to help the dream of our new home come true! Is the above request proper?

A: No it isn’t. Even though the recipient of a wedding invitation traditionally gives a gift whether or not attending, wedding gifts are best discussed by word-of-mouth. Nonetheless, you are not obligated to give them a monetary gift. Of course you may, but it’s your choice.

Wedding Showers: What to do for Co-Workers Going into Second Marriages?

Q: Hi, our question is about a co-worker, who we all love and care about, who is getting married in April. She and her fiance are having a private wedding, in the Dominican Republic. . There is no family attending at their request. This is her fourth wedding and his second. What we are wondering is what would be considered appropriate for us to do for her as co-workers? We would certainly take up a collection and give them a gift certificate as a wedding gift, however, is a wedding shower appropriate? They are currently living together, both with all the ‘things’ they need. It appears as though she is hinting around that she is expecting us to do something for her but we are unsure as to what is appropriate. Your prompt response is greatly appreciated.

A: Yes, it is fine for a group of co-workers to host an office shower even though they aren’t invited to the wedding. The shower in this case is their way of wishing the couple well. Therefore, it would be fine for you and other co-workers to host a shower.