Forgotten Friend : What to do When You’re Invited and Your Friend Isn’t

Q. My sister and I are friends with the same person, although I am closer with her, as we are the same age and went through school together. I have been invited to this person’s baby shower, but my sister has not. This person was invited to my sister’s baby shower last year. Is there any way to tactfully check and see if an invitation was forgotten or went missing?

A. Unfortunately, there is no tactful way to go about asking if someone was invited to a party that was expecting an invitation but did not receive one. If, when you RSVP to the shower, the hostess mentions your sister or asks if she will be attending, then you can assume that her invitation was errant and you can speak for her. Otherwise, it would be putting the hostess or the guest of honor in a uncomfortable position if you were to confront them about your sister not receiving an invitation.

Marriage Mishaps : How to Handle a Cancellation of a Wedding

Q. What is the best way to handle the cancellation of a wedding? The wedding is one month away and my daughter has decided that she is not ready for marriage. The invitations are out and most of the responses have been received.

A. I apologize for the lateness of this reply, but due to the overwhelming volume of emails we receive, it was impossible to respond any sooner.

But for your information, if there is not enough time to send out a printed card stating that the wedding date has been cancelled and/or postponed, a simple phone call to each invited guest is the perfectly appropriate.

Gift Miss : What to do When you do not Recieve a Gift

Q. My sister has yet to receive a wedding gift from a family of 6 that where invited too and attended her wedding. Is there a tactful way of suggesting in a ‘Thank You for Coming’ card that nothing has been received yet? We assume they did not intend to give money because there was an envelope collection at the reception. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

A. No, it is not correct to hint or suggest that a gift has not been received, in any situation. As far as a thank you note, the bride should still thank them for being a part of the special day and express her pleasure in having them be there.

New Venues: Changing the Place of your Wedding

Q: It’s less than two weeks from the wedding date. The wedding must be moved from being held at my home to a small local church. How do I notify the invited quests? Please respond with all possible options. Thank you!

A: When it is necessary to change the venue of the wedding and the new venue is decided upon after the invitations have been printed but before they are mailed, it is not necessary for the bride to order new invitations. Instead she may enclose a printed card, if there is time print one, saving “The wedding will take place at St. John’s Lutheran Church instead of your address.” If there is not time for the card, she may neatly cross out the old information on the invitation and insert the correct information by pen. If the invitations have already been mailed, she may mail a card or a personal note, or if the guest list is small, telephone the information. If there is no time to have a card printed, the information must be communicated by telephone, fax, or e-mail, or by a personal note.