Q. My son is getting married this summer. We have given the bride a list of about 100 guests. Her parents list is right now at 185. The bride tells me that it is etiquette that if names need to be cut off of the list they come off of the grooms family list not the bride. That the brides family gets to invite as many people as they want because they are paying for the wedding and it’s all about what the bride wants not the groom. So if her parents decide there are too many guests on the list they will cut our list and not theirs. Is this true? Doesn’t seem right to me. We are also planning our daughters wedding a month later and are inviting the same as the grooms parents. Seem only fair to me.
A. Traditionally each family is allotted half of the desired total guest count, a figure determined largely by the person hosting the wedding. A way of starting to decide whom to invite is to combine four lists, thus formulating the master list. Start with lists from the bride, the groom, the bride’s, and the groom’s parents. It is necessary that everyone make up their lists realistically. As acceptances and regrets become known, the weight’s of the lists may vary.