Marriage Mishaps : How to Handle a Cancellation of a Wedding

Q. What is the best way to handle the cancellation of a wedding? The wedding is one month away and my daughter has decided that she is not ready for marriage. The invitations are out and most of the responses have been received.

A. I apologize for the lateness of this reply, but due to the overwhelming volume of emails we receive, it was impossible to respond any sooner.

But for your information, if there is not enough time to send out a printed card stating that the wedding date has been cancelled and/or postponed, a simple phone call to each invited guest is the perfectly appropriate.

Gift Miss : What to do When you do not Recieve a Gift

Q. My sister has yet to receive a wedding gift from a family of 6 that where invited too and attended her wedding. Is there a tactful way of suggesting in a ‘Thank You for Coming’ card that nothing has been received yet? We assume they did not intend to give money because there was an envelope collection at the reception. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

A. No, it is not correct to hint or suggest that a gift has not been received, in any situation. As far as a thank you note, the bride should still thank them for being a part of the special day and express her pleasure in having them be there.

New Venues: Changing the Place of your Wedding

Q: It’s less than two weeks from the wedding date. The wedding must be moved from being held at my home to a small local church. How do I notify the invited quests? Please respond with all possible options. Thank you!

A: When it is necessary to change the venue of the wedding and the new venue is decided upon after the invitations have been printed but before they are mailed, it is not necessary for the bride to order new invitations. Instead she may enclose a printed card, if there is time print one, saving “The wedding will take place at St. John’s Lutheran Church instead of your address.” If there is not time for the card, she may neatly cross out the old information on the invitation and insert the correct information by pen. If the invitations have already been mailed, she may mail a card or a personal note, or if the guest list is small, telephone the information. If there is no time to have a card printed, the information must be communicated by telephone, fax, or e-mail, or by a personal note.

Proper Protocol: Announcing an Engagment

Q: Hello, what’s the current protocol for announcing an engagement… when and how is it done?

A: In addition to calling and writing family members and friends, a couple often decides to submit an engagement announcement to newspapers. Because it is inappropriate to send printed engagement announcements, this is a nice way to spread the news. Most newspaper engagement announcements appear approximately two to three months before the wedding day. But really, there are no set rules: an announcement may appear a year before the wedding date or as little as a week before. The announcement is usually made by the bride’s parents, often using a standard form provided by the newspaper. The bride’s parents should ask the groom’s parents if they would like the announcement in their hometown newspaper as well. Although each newspaper may have its own format, the basic wording is as follows: Mr. and Mrs. William Smith of Burlington, Vermont announce the marriage of their daughter, Miss Lila Anne Smith, to Mr. John Reynolds, son of Mr. and Mrs. William Reynolds of Los Altos, California. A June wedding is planned. Miss Smith was graduated from the University of Vermont and is a nurse practioner at Fletcher Allen Hospital. Mr. Reynolds was graduated from Saint Michael’s College and is a graphic designer at The Design House.