Forget Me Not : What to do when you forget to go to a wedding

Q. What do I do if I just plain forgot to go to a wedding, for which I had rsvp’d planning to attend. The couple are clients of mine, and the groom is a friend of a good friend. I simply got pre-occupied with family matters (three teenagers, house under renovation, etc.) and I didn’t have it in my calendar. I only realized my mistake while driving to my river cottage when I saw the signs directing people to the ‘Smith/Jones Wedding’ By then it was over! Boy do I feel DUMB

A. Honesty is always the best policy. Write a note of apology, stating that pressing family matters kept you from attending, and send it along with your best wishes and a wedding gift (if you have not already sent one.

Modern Proposal : Can a woman propose to a man?

Q.  Is it appropriate for a woman to ask a man to marry? If so, should she buy him a ring for the proposal?

A.  Many women have been the ones to propose to their husbands, or to suggest that they marry. There is nothing less romantic about this, but a ring for him is not required, although she might want to think about a ring for herself and how the purchase of her ring would take place.

Clinging to a ring ? : Are there rules about wearing wedding rings?

Q. I recently found out that some people have asked my widowed mother why she still wears her wedding ring; my father passed away 7 years ago. Are there rules governing the wearing of wedding rings? Thanks.

A. Yes. The rule is that a widow or widower may wear her/his ring in perpetuity, or take it off and put it away if she/he wishes to. It is entirely personal and if it is important to your mom to wear her wedding ring she should by all means wear it.

Forgotten Friend : What to do When You’re Invited and Your Friend Isn’t

Q. My sister and I are friends with the same person, although I am closer with her, as we are the same age and went through school together. I have been invited to this person’s baby shower, but my sister has not. This person was invited to my sister’s baby shower last year. Is there any way to tactfully check and see if an invitation was forgotten or went missing?

A. Unfortunately, there is no tactful way to go about asking if someone was invited to a party that was expecting an invitation but did not receive one. If, when you RSVP to the shower, the hostess mentions your sister or asks if she will be attending, then you can assume that her invitation was errant and you can speak for her. Otherwise, it would be putting the hostess or the guest of honor in a uncomfortable position if you were to confront them about your sister not receiving an invitation.