What’s allowed for vows ? : Do you need to memorize your vows ?

Q.  Is it okay to read vows to my groom from an index card?

A. Sure. It is an emotional time and if you are concerned that your mind will go blank having your vows written out will be an aid to you. The option is to memorize them and give the card to your officiant so that he or she can prompt you if you forget. Best wishes.

Forget Me Not : What to do when you forget to go to a wedding

Q. What do I do if I just plain forgot to go to a wedding, for which I had rsvp’d planning to attend. The couple are clients of mine, and the groom is a friend of a good friend. I simply got pre-occupied with family matters (three teenagers, house under renovation, etc.) and I didn’t have it in my calendar. I only realized my mistake while driving to my river cottage when I saw the signs directing people to the ‘Smith/Jones Wedding’ By then it was over! Boy do I feel DUMB

A. Honesty is always the best policy. Write a note of apology, stating that pressing family matters kept you from attending, and send it along with your best wishes and a wedding gift (if you have not already sent one.

Modern Proposal : Can a woman propose to a man?

Q.  Is it appropriate for a woman to ask a man to marry? If so, should she buy him a ring for the proposal?

A.  Many women have been the ones to propose to their husbands, or to suggest that they marry. There is nothing less romantic about this, but a ring for him is not required, although she might want to think about a ring for herself and how the purchase of her ring would take place.

Clinging to a ring ? : Are there rules about wearing wedding rings?

Q. I recently found out that some people have asked my widowed mother why she still wears her wedding ring; my father passed away 7 years ago. Are there rules governing the wearing of wedding rings? Thanks.

A. Yes. The rule is that a widow or widower may wear her/his ring in perpetuity, or take it off and put it away if she/he wishes to. It is entirely personal and if it is important to your mom to wear her wedding ring she should by all means wear it.