Q: I am the maid of honor at my little sister’s wedding – a very low-key, low budget affair. Our Mom & Dad are paying for “some” of her wedding and have added people to her list that are family friends. While I understand, this is customary, they also want to invite a peer who is not friends with anyone and – actually – is disliked by some in the wedding party. Is it correct that anyone that my parents invite should be ok with the bride and groom?
A: The basic guideline is that invitations are divided into thirds – one-third for the bride’s parents, one-third for the groom’s parents, and one-third for the bride and groom. If one “group” doesn’t need all its invitations, they get divided between the other two groups. It is presumed that those invited are people who are meaningful in the lives of those on whose list they appear. If there is a conflict, however, there is nothing wrong with, as in this case, your sister talking to your parents about the perceived problem with the person on their list who is troublesome to others. Hopefully, clear communication can help them reach accord. Particularly if this person presents a problem for your sister, your parents should take her concerns seriously.