Widow Wedding Band: When is the proper time to stop wearing the wedding band?

Q: I have been widowed for two months. I would like to know what is the proper time to stop wearing my wedding ring. I do prefer to wear it at this time but know at some point I should not.

A: No, there are no rules. You may wear it as long as you want to wear it, or remove it if you wish to. Naturally if you were to marry again you would not wear it any longer, but until that time, it is entirely your choice.

I Love You But…:Can I Ask My Fiance to Change my Engagement Ring Setting?

Q: My boyfriend recently proposed to me, and I said yes. However I do not like the ring. Is it proper or ok for me to ask him to change the setting?

A: Rather than saying you don’t like it, you could say there is a setting you have always loved and wonder if he would go with you to help pick that setting and change it – and you would pay the difference, of course.

Invitation Separation: What to do About Inviting a Guest Who Could Cause a Problem

Q: I am the maid of honor at my little sister’s wedding – a very low-key, low budget affair. Our Mom & Dad are paying for “some” of her wedding and have added people to her list that are family friends. While I understand, this is customary, they also want to invite a peer who is not friends with anyone and – actually – is disliked by some in the wedding party. Is it correct that anyone that my parents invite should be ok with the bride and groom?

A: The basic guideline is that invitations are divided into thirds – one-third for the bride’s parents, one-third for the groom’s parents, and one-third for the bride and groom. If one “group” doesn’t need all its invitations, they get divided between the other two groups.  It is presumed that those invited are people who are meaningful in the lives of those on whose list they appear. If there is a conflict, however, there is nothing wrong with, as in this case, your sister talking to your parents about the perceived problem with the person on their list who is troublesome to others. Hopefully, clear communication can help them reach accord. Particularly if this person presents a problem for your sister, your parents should take her concerns seriously.

Partial Presence: Is it Rude to Attend Only Part of a Wedding?

Q: We have been invited to a black tie wedding that is several hours away. The church is at least an hour’s drive from the reception and is scheduled to begin four hours after the wedding service. We were planning on staying at a hotel near the reception location, but conflicts with our children’s activities the following day requires that we return immediately after the reception. Would it be considered rude if we did not attend the wedding service and went directly to the reception?’

A: A wedding is all about the ceremony, not the reception. However, when brides and grooms plan a wedding with such a long gap between the ceremony and reception it is expected that there will be guests who can’t spare the time to attend both. Therefore, it is not rude. It is unfortunate, but there is plenty of precedent and quite simply, it happens that this expanse of time makes it difficult if not impossible for all guests to attend both. You have to work out your attendance according to the pressing demands of your own lives