From the category archives:
Q: Even after telling my good friend that her lateness – as much as half an hour! – is rude, she still hasn’t mended her ways. How can I make her more punctual? A: If she didn’t shape up when you zapped her for being incosiderate, she probably won’t respond to subtle (or devious) tactics [...]
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Q: I was next in line at a counter where service was slow as molasses. Finally a new line opened up, but the person behind me rushed to get there first. I was so frustrated! Should I have said something? A: In this situation, you could have said something like, “I’m sorry, but I was [...]
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Q: My boyfriend and I just bought our first house together and some of our friends/relatives are telling us we should have a housewarming party. I always thought that someone else was supposed to plan and throw the party for you at the new house and that you’re not supposed to throw it for yourself. [...]
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Q: Once again my mother-in-law has given me a sweater I’ll never put on, and then asked me why I’m not wearing it. Is there a way to get her to give me gifts I’d actually use? A: No matter how much you dislike your mother-in-law’s gifts, you should acknowledge her thoughtfulness in some way. [...]
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Q: When an acquaintance tells you he or she just got divorced, how should you respond? “I’m sorry” seems inappropriate these days, since many people are relieved – even happy – to be out of a bad marriage. A: There’s no all-purpose approach. Instead, your answer should be dictated by individual circumstances. Keep in mind [...]
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Q: I have a son from my first marriage whom my husband’s adopting. I’d like to send an announcement to our friends and relatives about the adoption and name change. Is this appropriate? If so, what should it say? A: It’s appropriate if there’s a practical reason for making the announcement, and if it’s a [...]
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Q: I’m always afraid that someone I wasn’t planning to get a gift for will spring one on me. What should I do if this happens? A: All you really need to do is warmly thank the person and say, “You shouldn’t have!” Then, next year, if you don’t want to start an exchange, send [...]
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Q: Please settle a debate about the proper way to eat pizza. Are a fork and knife necessary, or can you just use your hands? A: It’s alright to pick up a slice because pizza is an informal food. The best way to eat it is to loosely fold a slice in half to keep [...]
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Q: My daughter’s new husband is terrific, but I cringe when he calls me Mom. I’d much prefer to be called by my first name, but I know my daughter addresses his parents as Mom and Dad, and I don’t want to seem as if I’m criticizing anyone’s choice. Suggestions? A: First, stop worrying so [...]
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Q: At a funeral I recently attended, I was startled to see several women wearing brightly colored dresses. The styles of their outfits weren’t inappropriate, but I’ve always thought you were supposed to wear black or another somber color to funerals. Is color a new trend? A: While you’ll never go wrong with black, my [...]
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The Gift of Good Manners
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