Q: My son and his girlfriend came to visit the family. On Saturday I mentioned that we would be attending church services the next day when my sons girlfriend informed me that she was not religious. I thought it would have been correct that as our guest, she would attend with us. Am I wrong?
A: It is fine to offer the opportunity – “We will be going to church tomorrow if anyone would like to come. . . .” but not to expect or assume your guests, even your son, will attend. Your son’s girlfriend, however, needed only to say that she would not be attending but would be fine entertaining herself while you were gone. Your son obviously needs to work out his religious beliefs between family and girlfriend and to find a way to respect everyone’s belief system. He might have said, for example, “Mom, we won’t be going with you, but you go right ahead and we can have brunch when you get back, ” or words to that effect. By the same token, you wouldn’t insist that your adult son accompany you. When you next speak with him you can tell him that you weren’t trying to impose your agenda on him but had no idea that the thought of church would offend him so simply offered it up. Even if you are concerned, he needs to draw his own conclusions and work them out for himself.