About EPI
The Legacy of Emily Post
Founded in 1946 by Emily Post and her son Ned, The Emily Post Institute, Inc. (or EPI for short), promotes etiquette in America and around the world. Spanning five generations, this family business maintains and evolves the standards of etiquette that Emily Post established with her seminal book Etiquette in 1922. Manners change over time and vary depending on location and culture. The Emily Post Institute studies this evolution and develops new manners guidelines based on core principles of honesty, respect, and consideration.
From a primary office in Burlington, Vermont, The Emily Post Institute incudes a 21 book collection, columns in Good Housekeeping, USA Weekend, Boston Globe, Inside Weddings, Wedding Channel.com, and Brides.com, conducts seminars and trainings, and partners with businesses and non-profit organizations to bring etiquette and manners to a wide audience. There are currently two generations and nine direct decendents and their immediate family involved with the Institute.
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If a couple is not married and are expecting a baby, should a shower be thrown for the expectant mother?
It is fine to throw a shower for a single woman or an unmarried couple.
Is there a traditional or modern list of gifts for birthdays as there are for anniversaries? If not, would the anniversary list be appropriate to follow? What would be the general rule of thumb?
There is not a list of traditional gifts for birthdays like there is for anniversaries, although one could use the one as a creative guild for the other. The following web address has a great chart for getting this information – http://www.happy-anniversary.com/year-of-marriage/index.html. I have also seen some very creative lists of ways to interpret various anniversary gifts so as not to break the bank when shopping for a loved one. One was a list of modern tech. gifts including things like the BlackBerry Pearl as a possible substitute for the 30th – pearls anniversary gift.
During the Thanksgiving holiday, I will see many family members whom I haven’t seen in awhile. Due to health reasons, my mom will not be attending the Thanksgiving celebration. I am anticipating receiving questions about how she is doing. I really do not wish to discuss this topic. How do I politely and vaguely answer their questions and avoid this topic of conversation?
It would be gracious and kind of you to treat all three children equally, though I can understand your feelings. I hope, if you do, that they will quickly formalize their family arrangement and that your bond will grow and when it does, you and them become us. You sound like a wonderful, giving lady with more than enough love to go around.
That’s where I’m really puzzled…I have opened my arms & heart wide to these children over the years and have a deep relationship with them.
Dear Carolyn,
I am sorry you have been hurt. It is up to your boyfriend to handle this situation with his mother and his family and their insensitivity to your comfort. While it is not unusual for ex-wives to be at family gatherings, your situation is different in that you had nothing to do with the break-up of his marriage and are being unfairly treated by his mother. However, his mother (and ex-wife) may have hoped for a reconciliation and when you arrived on the scene, that door closed, thus her hostility? Regardless of this, your boyfriend owes you allegience in the here and now. I would suggest opening the gifts, and be sure to write charming thank you notes for them. Maintain a pleasant demeanor with his family (and continue your positive relationship with his children), regardless of how they treat you; act like a lady throughout this and wait to see if your boyfriend rises to your defense; at a minimum, he needs to have a talk with his mother about being inclusive of you. If he doesn’t, it is time to consider your options to pursue well before the family Easter dinner arrives. You are in my thoughts today.
Thank you for your encouraging words!
I have a dilemma. A few days before Christmas my boyfriend of 5 years contacted me at work to inform me his mother invited his ex-wife & mother of his adult children to our annual Christmas celebration. I have never met this woman before, and due to the hostility in his divorce I felt it was a very inappropriate time to be introduced to her for the first time. I brought this to his mother’s attention and explained my feelings to her and now she isn’t speaking to me and has accused me of breaking up the marriage, though they were separated for over a year before I even met him. His mother has previously excluded me from parties & events that the ex-wife was attending also. This has hurt me and devastated me as I ended up spending Christmas at home alone while his family enjoyed themselves with holiday festivities. I do not know how to handle this. Additionally, they sent my boyfriend home with a couple Christmas gifts that evening to give me. They remain unopened and I don’t want them in light of the way I was mistreated and disrespected. Any advice on this one?
I want to have a 70th Birthday Roast for my husband. He has retired from being a chief pilot for a corporation. I want to invite the pilots & mechanics without their spouses. But the CFO will bring his wife, the retired chief mechanic will bring his wife, the admin girl will bring your spouse.
My husbands 2 daughters, 2 grand daughters, brother & wife, brother in law & wife.
This will be a dinner party, which my friends, which include both sexes, will be helping with the decorating, cooking, serving & cleaning up & participate in the roast too.
Because I have a large list, how do I handle the co workers spouses NOT being invited? I have already rented the room.
This is a difficult situation. As you seem to know, usually spouses are invited to social functions. It is problematic, for all of the reasons that you mention, to invite some spouses and not others. If you do not have the resources to host everybody he has worked with, you might decide to only invite those from work who your husband was particularly close to. You might also suggest or help plan some sort of smaller function centered around the workplace or a work-lunch-outing for those who have worked with your husband, but who don’t have family who know him as well, to deliver their own 70th roasty barbs.