Wedding Invitations: Is it OK to Request Money?

Q: I Just received an invitation to a wedding the message reads as follows: Your presence at our wedding is present enough! But if we’re honored with a gift from you, may we request a gift of money to help the dream of our new home come true! Is the above request proper?

A: No it isn’t. Even though the recipient of a wedding invitation traditionally gives a gift whether or not attending, wedding gifts are best discussed by word-of-mouth. Nonetheless, you are not obligated to give them a monetary gift. Of course you may, but it’s your choice.


  1. D

    I whole-heartedly agree. People are told over and over that this is bad etiquette, and yet seem to think if it’s worded “fancily” it’s acceptable. I find it so off-putting, as most people when in doubt will gift with cash anyway!

  2. All in favor, say I! In my opinion, it is never acceptable to ask for a gift of any kind. A gift is something given to someone without the expectation of payment. Asking implies expectation.

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