To Each His Own: A Baby Shower for Every Child?

by epi on July 13, 2014

Q: Is it appropriate for a person to have multiple baby showers? I have a friend who wants a shower and this is her 5th child in 6 years!!!!! She always quotes Emily Post, so I thought I would go straight to the source.

A: Yes, every baby is entitled to be celebrated with a shower regardless of how many siblings he or she has.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Char July 13, 2014 at 12:43 pm

Is it really right in the first place to demand a shower? shouldn’t it be the initiative of family and friends to organise it rather than the person demanding it? I would find that rather pushy…

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Maggie July 13, 2014 at 2:52 pm

I think there’s a little more to it than this. Emily Post used to say that you could have a second shower for close family and friends but to otherwise choose guests for successive showers who hadn’t attend the earlier ones. I think the point behind this is that while having a party in honor of each baby is fine, it’s obnoxious to burden people (especially those who aren’t VERY close to you) by asking them to repeatedly shower you with gifts. So, fine, have the party, but the expectation for gifts really needs to taper off (like to requesting, at most, that people bring a children’s book). The absolute worst is the invitation for the third+ child when they already have everything they need for both genders and take the opportunity to register for massage gift certificates, camping equipment, jewelry, etc. Maybe if you have everything you need for your baby already, we should just have some cake to celebrate and you don’t use this as an opportunity just to ask me to buy you something.

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Karen July 13, 2014 at 5:01 pm

Can I get an Amen?

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Vanna Keiler July 14, 2014 at 2:55 pm

From the original question, doesn’t clarify if the question asker would be the one to host the baby shower or not. If they are only attending as (gift bearing) participants, not organizers, they can give as little as they want for a gift and/or choose not to attend. They can also decline hosting another shower, if they hosted one previously. It’s understandable if someone chooses not to organize the same event year after year, since it’s an expense and responsibility. However, note that it’s NOT “multiple baby showers” as the question asker phrased it- it’s multiple babies, year after year. Therefore, I can see the validity to have a shower each time, if only a token one, and IF someone chose to throw her one. Maybe make the next one at a McDonald’s. :)

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Amanda July 23, 2014 at 1:39 pm

I find it incredible that anyone thinks it’s appropriate to request gifts for anything other than a first child. (Personally,the idea of sending out a list of things I want people to buy for me from a particular store makes me shudder, but that’s a whole other can of worms.) If you want to celebrate the birth of another child, why not just have a simple coffee and cake get-together with close friends? It is possible to celebrate milestones without asking for more gifts (because celebrating with loved ones–not getting gifts–is the point, right?) Sending out another invite with a registry on it is not appropriate. Your friends and family already bought you many gifts; it’s just greedy to ask for more. As a nicer alternative, why not ask guests to bring something small for a child in need? You can then make a nice donation to a women’s shelter.

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