Q: I drove 95 miles to San Francisco for a first date with a very educated, successful woman. When I reached to open the door to the nightclub where we were to have a drink, she preceded to “read me the Riot Act” about how she was an independent woman and could open her own doors. This went on for about 30 to 45 seconds while I was still holding the door open and with other customers going in and out of the club staring at her tirade. When she was done, I asked if she had anything else to say and she said no. I was still holding the door open so she turned and walked in without saying thank you. I look at her through the open door and then let the door shut and went back to my vehicle. It took her about 45 to 60 seconds to realize that I wasn’t behind her and she came out into the parking lot looking for me. She came to the my driver’s side window and asked where I was going. I replied, “I came here expecting to meet a woman who appreciated being treated like a lady. In this case, I made an error in judgement so I am going home. If you ever want to contact me you have my cell number.” I left and drove the 95 miles back home laughing all the way. I never heard from her again. Was what she did acceptable?
A: Her tirade certainly gave you an indication of how the rest of the night was going to go, as well as the opportunity to move along. Her behavior was unnecessarily abusive. It is fine to have feelings of independence, but it is not fine to take someone to task in public when all he is trying to do is be polite and thoughtful. She was wrong. Your departure most likely pointed this out to her.