Open Thread

by epi on June 23, 2014

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Maryse M. Leeroy June 24, 2014 at 2:08 pm

Dear Sir/Madam:

I have a wedding etiquette problem and hope someone will be able to help:

Toward the end of May, the daughter of a good friend of ours sent us an announcement of her wedding — with NO date!!! I was shocked since I speak to my friend fairly often and she never mentioned anything to me about the wedding. To my even greater surprise when I called her daughter, 32 years old, to congratulate her, she (the bride) told me that she got married since December 17, 2013, but could not decide whether or not to have a reception (I’ve known this girl since she was born). Her mom (my friend) apparently insisted that she sends the announcements, so she did. I also called my friend to congratulate her.

My question is this: Are we obligated to send a card and a gift????

Thank you for your assistance in this matter.

Maryse M. Leroy


Winifred Rosenburg June 24, 2014 at 5:57 pm

You are obligated to congratulate the newlyweds in some fashion, and that’s all.


Sherry June 27, 2014 at 10:36 am

I really could use some advice on a wedding issue. I’m the mother of the groom and have requested that all four of our grandchildren be present at the wedding.
The mother of the bride said no grandchildren but than put their one grandchild in the wedding. When my son complained that that wasn’t fair the mother of the bride said he could pick one of his nephews to be in the wedding, but no other children.
How does he pick just one and if she had four grandchildren she would want them all there.
What should I do, this is causing all sorts of problems and the mother of the bride is being unreasonable?
I have even offered to pay for the grandchildren’s dinner at the reception.


Alicia June 27, 2014 at 11:04 am

The mother of the bride and the mother of the groom should not be the ones having any say yes or no on invites. The bride and groom should decide if they want their nieces and nephews to attend. If so they should invite their nieces and nephews if not they should not. If invited the parents of the kids should decide if they wish to RSVP yes or no for their kids. But both you and the mother of the bride are out of line to be making any pronouncements at all on the guest list and who is included in the wedding party. Your dpon and his bride get full say and should stand by what they want not what either of their mothers want.


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