Play Date: How do I deal with my daughter’s unruly friend?

Q: There is a little girl in our neighborhood who my daughter is friends with and some problems are arising that I am not sure how to handle.  I have a problem with her manners and I don’t want her to influence my daughter.  She always invites herself over to play, never says please or thank-you, and I have to tell her many times when it is time to go home.  What do you recommend? Am I just old fashioned?



A: No, you are not old-fashioned.  It is a difficult problem.  When she’s a guest in your home, it is fine for you to politely correct her manners.  You may tell her that you have “house rules,” which include calling before visiting, saying please and thank-you, leaving when asked, etc.  The next time she comes over even after telling her she couldn’t, tell her politely but firmly that she was told not to come and that she needs to go home.  If her behavior continues, you may speak to her mother or father.  However, you should be tactful, non-accusatory, and not recite a litany of the problems.

One Comment

  1. Heather

    Little children have to be taught manners, and it isn’t their fault when they don’t have them. Keep this in mind when you talk to her! And I think it’s a good idea to address the issues quickly, rather than letting them pile up. If you put up with her behavior silently for a long time, you are more likely to “snap” and say things that are rude or heated to her, which will hurt her feelings and not accomplish your goal.

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