Q: My husband’s second son from his first marriage is getting married. They were married for four years and have been divorced for 20 years. At his other son’s wedding the photographer put my husband and his ex-wife in a “family” picture together. This did not feel right or proper. In a situation like this what is the proper etiquette?
A: You are correct. When parents are divorced, it is simply not appropriate to have them flank the couple in a photograph in a semblance of a united family. Instead a photograph with each parent is appropriate. When a parent has remarried, it is fine to have the new spouse included in the picture. If enmity toward the new spouse is great, the new spouse does not have to be included in the photograph. The important thing is not to try to recreate the family as it once was. There is no set list of suggested photographs for step families — it’s a personal choice.