Skipping the Thank-you’s: How can I tell my friend it’s not necessary to send a thank-you card?

Q: I once received a card with a gift for my newborn requesting that I not send a thank-you note and use the time for my family.  I found it very useful at such a busy time.  I would like to send the same thing to a friend but am not sure how it should be worded.  This one was very simple and polite.  Do you have any suggestions?



A: You may simply say what you wrote: “Please don’t feel it’s necessary to send a thank-you note.  I would rather you just enjoy the time with your family and new baby.”


  1. Winifred Rosenburg

    I strongly disagree with the entire concept. Why must you treat thank-you notes like a chore? Some of us genuinely enjoy sitting down and writing to someone to express appreciation! I would be offended if I got a gift with this note attached as it implies that my desire to thank them in a letter is not sincere before I’ve even had a chance to write one!

  2. David

    I’m puzzled by both the question and the response. It almost sounds like sarcasm. It takes so little effort to write a thank you note and the duty could be shared between the parents of the newborn. What an odd request. It takes as much time to open the gift, why not take a minute to acknowledge it, as well.
    I hope this doesn’t become a trend. I can think of many ridiculous analogies, but don’t want to offend anyone.

  3. Laurie

    The intention of the gift-giver was to be thoughtful. My reaction was that it was sweet and charming. Writing thank you notes is a pleasant thing to do; however, when you have, let’s say, a newborn, a rambunctious three-year-old, and maybe twenty gifts to acknowledge, having someone tell you that no thank you is required … that’s like another gift!

    The problem is, this thoughtful gift of time is the one you would most like to acknowledge, so you’d end up writing a note anyway!

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