Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.


  1. Waverly


    I have bene invited to a wedding shower and wedding by distant relatives. Unfortunately, I am not able to make either event but would like to send some small gift anyway, perhaps off of the registry.

    My question is, how should I respond to the invitations (they came about a week apart). Should I, for example, send a gift and in the card express my congratulations as well as my disappointment that I won’t be attending either event? Or do I RSVP separately to the shower and to the wedding?

    Any guidance you provide is much appreciated! Thank you!

    • Elizabeth

      I agree, rsvp separately. If you do send a gift, which is a lovely thing to do, be sure to send it to the bride or groom’s home (whichever side you are acquainted with, or if they live together then obviously to their shared home). The gift will be a wedding gift and not a shower gift, so don’t worry about it getting there in time for the shower.

      • Jody

        The last few times I purchased a gift for an out-of-town wedding it was from the registry; the shop had an option to ship to the address provided by the bride. That solved all the “where do I send it” questions.

  2. Waverly

    Thank you all so much for your help. I did respond separately, and Jody, you are correct! The store is shipping the gift directly to the bride.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *