Open Thread

by epi on April 1, 2014

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Juan April 1, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Hi. I´m currently reading a copy of Essential manners for men and upon the 7 bad habits I have a question: By adjusting what does the book mean? adjusting ones clothes as tucking one´s shirt? or straightening one´s tie. (English is not my mother tongue so I have some problems with some expressions.) thank you in advance.

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David April 1, 2014 at 8:49 pm

It could well mean adjusting, rearranging or touching any part of your body that suddenly feels uncomfortable. Of course, you should set your tie, belt, etc. and forget them. If anything “feels” or looks wrong or uncomfortable after that, I’d excuse myself and visit a private room with a mirror to make any adjustments. I hope that helps.

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Celine April 4, 2014 at 12:32 pm

Is it proper to invite guests to a bridal shower and not invite them to the wedding? The shower would be local and wedding would be 179 miles away.

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Alicia April 4, 2014 at 1:03 pm

No only those invited to the wedding should be invited to any prewedding parties. Otherwise the message thought is you only want their gifts not that you care about them.

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helen DAIL April 4, 2014 at 2:05 pm

Our children in their 40′s and grand children, 22 to 12, never acknowledge or say thank you for gifts, birthday and other, when given to them. Shall we discontinue giving gifts to them?

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Alicia April 4, 2014 at 4:38 pm

I have to ask do you send then thank you notes for gifts they send you? If no then you should start. If yes then for teh next gift giving occasion give a set of stationary and a manners book and make it clear that you expect thank you notes. If after that not so subtle hint you do not start getting thank yous then go ahead and stop. But make your expectations clear before you stop. If for the last 40 years or 22 you have not made it clear you expect these things then it is unreasonable to stop without making it clear first.

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David April 4, 2014 at 3:57 pm

Yes. I think the gifts are either not appreciated or they have a revolting sense of entitlement. I’m sorry to have to say that, but it applies to anyone who doesn’t acknowledge a gift. I would stop sending them and if the topic is ever raised, say, “We had to assume they had not been delivered, in the past.” Then burn holes in their heads with your eyes.
Honestly, nothing gets me more upset than one’s unwillingness to affix a stamp to an envelope with a card. Cards are even available two – for – a – dollar at Dollar Stores. It’s inexcusable. Sorry for the rant.

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