Q: My niece asked both of my daughters to be her flower girls for her wedding. The girls are 11 and 7. Does it matter what age they are if both are excited to be flower girls? Also, is there a tactful way to suggest that maybe the older girl should be a junior bridesmaid if she feels the role is too babyish?
A: The usual “top” age for a flower girl is seven. Therefore, your younger daughter can appropriately be a flower girl, but it might be more in keeping with matters of age if your older daughter is indeed a junior bridesmaid, and it would not be inappropriate to ask. All this means is that she would dress similarly to the other bridesmaids and walk in the processional and recessional in that role. She would not be expected to “chip in” for a shower or bridesmaids gift to the bride, be invited to a bachelorette party, or other events more typically appropriate for older attendants. It also does not mean that there must be a junior usher to pair her with. There is no requirement for attendants to be matched in number and their “walking” order is arranged accordingly. If the bride prefers that your older daughter be a flower girl and your daughter doesn’t mind, it is fine and no one will think a thing of it, but it is okay to ask anyway if you would like to.