Q: My cousin’s way of cutting back on her wedding guest list is to only invite those cousins she has lived near and feels she has a current relationship with. The result is that some siblings are invited and others are not from several families. My parents and one of my two siblings will be there. There was no communication about it, either, until someone asked why they hadn’t received their invitation. I have never heard of breaking families up like that (other than severe family feuds, which this is not). Do you think this is acceptable?
A: It is more appropriate to pare down a guest list by making across-the-board, clear-cut distinctions. To avoid hurt feelings when a guest list is limited, it is preferable to subdivide the groupings across the board, such as inviting all aunts and uncles and forgoing cousins, and then stick to categories treating each list as a whole. Nonetheless, the guest list is your cousin’s and her fiancé’s decision. While it might have been thoughtful for her to explain the decision, she was not obligated to do so.