Open Thread

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  1. Michelle

    My fiancé has a hyphenated last name and I will be taking his hyphenated name as my own last name after our wedding. For illustration purposes, say his name is William Jones-Smith and mine is Jane Doe. I will become Jane Doe Jones-Smith. My question is about monogramming. My research on hyphenated last names turns up mixed results, with three common options: (1) using the first letter of the first hyphenated name, so my monogram would become JJD; (2) hyphenating the monogram, like so JJ-SD; or (3) including both initials of the last name in the monogram JJSD. Since most monogramming options are limited to three letters, the first option is my preference, but is there a standard etiquette on this? Or is it one of those things where we just choose our preference since it is our last name?

    • Elizabeth

      I think hyphenated names are simply treated as one word. So, Jones-Smith would be abbreviated to J and not J-S. So your option 1 is correct.

  2. Joan

    A friend decided to give me a $100.00 necklace at Christmas. Afterwards he started talking about taking me out. I told him I was not able to take time out from caring for my parents plus working full time. He continued asking me out and leaving me messages. I have never led him to believe anything was there. Now, after 3 months, he asked me for the necklace back. I want to ask him if the gift was dependent on my dating him but gave kept quiet. Am I obligated to give the gift back? I don’t have the box it came in or the receipt that was given to me with the gift.

    • Alicia

      No you’re not obligated to give the gift back. I’d laugh it off and say it wouldn’t look good on him. But if pressed I would give it back. Either way I would distance myself from this guy seems a bit creepy.

    • Winifred Rosenburg

      Strictly speaking, one is not supposed to accept jewelry from non-family members for this reason. I do realize that nobody follows that rule anymore so I don’t blame you for having accepted it. However, since he clearly did intend it to be an indication of a different kind of relationship than the kind you would like with him, I think the best way to correct the misunderstanding would be to give the gift back even though he is being petty and immature. Think of it this way: do you really want to continue with him having the perception of you owing him something? Give it back to him without the box and receipt as it would be foolish for him to expect you to have held on to those for three months.

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