Unexcused No-show: Do I approach a friend who said she would attend my party but didn’t?

by epi on February 21, 2014

Q: I had a wine party over the weekend, and had a couple of no-shows.  One was a friend who called to apologize the next day, and since I didn’t expect him to attend anyway, it was not a problem.  The other is a co-worker, who had accepted the invite early last week.  In addition to not showing up, she has not contacted me regarding this.  She does not strike me as the impolite type. Perhaps she’d mixed up the dates.  Anyway, now that I am at work, do I approach her about what happened or do I wait for her to initiate the conversation?

A: It is fine to initiate the conversation saying, “I missed you at the party last week.  I hope nothing was wrong that you weren’t able to attend?”  This gives her the chance to say, “Oops!  I completely forgot,” or offer another explanation.  It is better to ask and receive an answer than to let this hang between you, which could become increasingly awkward.

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