Open Thread

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.


  1. Jane

    Last evening I received the following text from a 15 year old female employee. She has worked for for 2 years, the girl is home-schooled and was quite shy when she started. We have always had a good relationship, often giving her rides home from work, ect. She sent the following
    “my two weeks notice, as of today *personal reasons* and I apologize for quitting when you are shorthanded, I have enjoyed working/watching/learning/helping with everyone you are all very nice people and I am sorry to leave.”

    I received this at bedtime last evening….so did not respond, yet. Any thoughts? This took me back to think she would not visit with me in person. Socially she has been extremely quiet, but one on one is a chatter box. We all have found when we take her home she hardly shuts up….I want to let her know that a text was not the best way to tell a boss that you are quitting, yet I see this was well thought out and it may have been the only way she could quit. Is this the way things are done now and I am just old fashioned?
    I would love to hear you thoughts.

    • Elizabeth

      I think you should respond to say that you received the text, that you’re sorry to see her go, and that you wish her best in future endeavors. You could invite her to visit the workplace if she’s nearby. I don’t think it would be appropriate to lecture her about how to quit. If you use texting as a common form of communication with your employees, she can be forgiven for thinking that it would be ok. Also, as a shy teen, she might have felt it the easier way than talking in person.

      • Jody

        I agree with Elizabeth. I would also print a copy of the text message for the employee’s file (I’m not a technophile but I’d think there’s a way to print it or forward it to your email so you can print it).

        Does your firm usually have departure interviews with employees? That might be a good time to discuss any tips or pointers you’d like to give her. I’d say that quitting by text is definitely not the “new norm.”

  2. Mary

    My nephew, my brother’s son, is getting married in June at an out-of-town location. The night before the wedding there will be a rehearsal followed by a rehearsal dinner. My 20 something children are traveling with us since we all live in the same town, and 2 still live with us. My husband and I and our one son who is in the wedding are invited to the rehearsal and dinner. Our other children are not. They will wait for us in the motel room. They are asked to join us in my brother’s room after the dinner or at the bar, but nothing is being provided for them. They will figure out what to do about their dinner. My sister has the same situation…one of her children is in the wedding, but the other three are not and are not invited to the rehearsal dinner. They are younger than mine. We are all traveling 4 hours to the location, from different directions. Our brother asked us all to please book rooms for 2 nights and be there for him. But he didn’t invite the rest of the nieces and nephews. It’s going to be a big party with 55 guests. He keeps talking about how much fun it will be and that this is “our” family’s big night. Our 6 kids that aren’t included feel slighted and embarrassed. Am I being too sensitive or is this improper etiquette? We are a very close family and the cousins all grew up together. I am so surprised at this.

    • Alicia

      Only those in the wedding are typically invited to the rehearsal dinner. There is no need to invite all the cousins. The adults (20s) cousins not invited should go out for dinner together and have fun.

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