Open Thread

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  1. Clara

    This is a tough question but I’m going to ask it anyway. My best friend and I are in our early 30s and are polar opposites. She has always been a wild child and I am very reserved. I have always sort of chalked up her behaviors to “Jess being Jess” but now I am very concerned. Yesterday evening she told me that one of her married bosses (who has young children) has begun sexting with her. She then says that she did respond b/c she had been drinking. She giggles and acts as if this is just another episode in her “crazy life.” However, I was unable to have my usual reaction of “oh gosh! You’re too much!” because this is a lot more serious than other poor choices she has made. Recently, I found out that a family member of mine has been having an affair (he has 2 pre-teen children who also found out and are CRUSHED). I cannot reveal this fact to her as she knows these family members, but I so much want to say “please don’t do this, you have no idea the kind of pain that you are partaking in.” I wish I could tell her about my family b/c she may understand more, but I cannot reveal that information. I don’t want to come off judgmental but this is really bothering me. How can I broach it again without sounding like I am preaching?

    • Elizabeth

      You don’t have to personally know someone who’s cheating to be uncomfortable with her choices. Why not open up a serious conversation about where she thinks this is going. Be up front: Jess, I’ve always appreciated your extroversion and spontaneity, but I can’t listen to you talk about texting your boss whose married with kids without thinking about the inevitable fallout. Have you thought about it?

      I can see that you don’t want to be too judgemental, but you are entitled to not listen to that stuff. If she doesn’t stop and keeps raising the subject, just say Jess I’ve told you before I don’t care to hear about this part of your life, please let’s change the subject.

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