Misinterpreted Mug: How can I get my friend to stop saying I look tired?

Q: An acquaintance constantly tells me I look tired, even on days when I feel great.  It’s hard not to feel offended.  Is it OK to let her know I don’t appreciate her opinion?

A: If you can’t ignore her, try a little humor.  It’s possible that she’s just clueless, so take the high road and say, “I actually feel fine, as I’ve said before.  I’m sure you mean well, but my self-esteem is definitely taking a beating!”  She should get the point, but if she keeps it up in the future, simply smile, thank her for her concern, and drop the matter.


  1. seceb

    Oh, Elizabeth, good answer!
    I need to practice saying that as I have a co-worker who is constantly pointing out that I look tired or my eyes are puffy etc. I loved your response & maybe if it was said with a friendly “oh, gosh, we are both overworked” tone it won’t come off as snarky the first time it is used. The second time, well, I think snarky is called for. Thanks!

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