Open Thread

by epi on December 26, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Gertrude December 26, 2013 at 11:26 pm

I am expecting our first child. Is it rude to post ultrasound pictures on Facebook?

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Alicia December 27, 2013 at 4:04 am

Not rude. However unlike your kid who is no doubt going to be adorable ultrasound pictures are neither cute nor really something anyone other then the future parents and maybe grandparents want to see. Also as they are pictures of your insides this may make some people uncomfortable. So it is not rude but I advise against doing so.

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Dee December 27, 2013 at 4:03 pm

Is the proper way to address a wedding invitation to families with one child as follows?
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Thomas
123 Sesame Street
Brooklyn, New York 11207 or
would you include the last name
Thomas Smith
Thank You, Dee

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Elizabeth December 27, 2013 at 4:13 pm
E. Barnes December 28, 2013 at 8:57 am

If I give up some major sacrifice for a date with a desirable, attractive woman, which has been arranged by the beneficiary of the sacrifice, and I arrive only to find out she’s with someone else and just using me for a meal ticket, what should I do to the user and the thief of my sacrifice to avenge myself and to show Society that I don’t allow myself to be wronged without a reaction (which would damage my nomos)?

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Alicia December 29, 2013 at 1:12 am

Not sure what exactly you are saying but I think you are saying you did a favor for someone (person A) in exchange they set you up with hot chick B. Hot chick B was only going on date with you for nice meal and is also dating person C. Now you want revenge on person A for not knowing about B dating C and trying to set you up? Is this correct? Well they tried to set you up and it failed being mean to them is not the way to be. No woman owes you anything in terms of accepting a date and the matchmaker owes you even less. Do not accept their matchmaking in the future if not to your liking but avenging yourself as you phrase it will only make you seem immature and undateable to everyone who knows A or B or who A or B ever tell about it. Your phrasing and explanation comes across as someone with no dating experience and slightly creepy. Please no avenging instead go out and meet others and date around judging women less by looks and more by personality.

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Maggie December 30, 2013 at 4:14 pm

There’s really no polite way to “avenge” oneself. You should not “do” anything to either person.

You could, however, send an email to the woman who you felt “used” you for the free meal and tell her that you were confused about why she went on a date with you when she had a boyfriend. But first consider whether there was a misunderstanding. Perhaps she didn’t realize the meal was a “date” and thought of you as a friend. Or perhaps (and this is quite likely) she mentioned a “boyfriend” as a way to let you down easily because you two did not click. If you truly think she spent the evening with you just for a free meal, she will probably ignore your note anyway. And you shouldn’t bother sending it because the best “avenging” would be to not wasting another moment thinking about her.

As for the person who benefited from the “major sacrifice” you made so you could go on this date, you seem to want to hold them accountable for not preventing the misunderstanding (or the rude behavior) of your date. If you think this person actually conspired with your failed date in order to take away the “major sacrifice,” you could tell that person that you do not appreciate their deception. You could also cease contact with them as they are not a good friend. However, if this person did not know about your date’s disinterest, then it does not make sense to be upset with him because your date did not go well. In the future, remember there are no guarantees in dating and you may regret making a “major” sacrifice to have dinner with a woman when all you know about her is that she has a pretty face.

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