Open Thread

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.


  1. Mary Beth

    In giving a large cash Christmas gift to my adult children, can it be the same amount for the children with spouses,or should they receive more?

  2. Nancy

    What is the polite way to inform wedding guests about the bride and groom’s gift registry? Everything we read says you should not put the registry website on or with the invitation. A separate e-mail to older guests or family members might work since they might still use e-mail–but younger 20 somethings do not use e-mail so much. What is the best way you might recommend to let people know about the gift registry?

    • Winifred Rosenburg

      It is simpler than you think. People who want to know will ask. Inform key people of the registry information, such as both sets of parents and possibly bridal party members, in case someone asks them. That’s all you have to do. In this day and age that information is also available online (whether you intended it to be or not) so many people will just Google your names to figure out where you’re registered.

    • Becky

      several ways to passively do it. (none of which include ‘actively’ sending an email to inform guests how to recognize the occasion). List on a wedding website (many free options out there to set up your own site – handy for sharing special pictures and directions etc as well) Select ‘obvious’ registries that someone might check on their own to see if the couple is registered. (what is obvious will differ for everyone and their community … from target to that local gift shop every bride registers with. People who like to purchase off of registries will ask…but not always will they ask the bride/groom, so make sure immediate family and attendants know where they’re registered. And of course if asked directly, the bride/groom can answer directly..verbally, email, hand written note…whatever.

  3. Tonya

    Is it ok to combine a holiday and thank you card? If we were to include a personalized message that specifically says “Thank you for the gift” along with a preprinted, Thank you for joining is in our celebration, Merry Christmas Happy New Year.

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