Open Thread

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.


  1. Charlotte

    What´s the correct way to dress for ladies? I know about things like skirt length or cleavage lines, obviously, but have heard so much about whether shoes need to match belt and bag or not, whether tights should match in colour the shirt / dress / skirt / shoes, what the correct heel height should be for everyday outings… it’s getting confusing! can you clarify if there’s etiquette on such things – or just people being picky? Can you enlighten us?

    • Elizabeth

      What you are asking about is not an etiquette issue, but a fashion question. There are no hard and fast rules about dressing, which is why you see such a huge diversity. I would consult some fashion websites.

      • If Charlotte is asking because of a job-related reason, it might fall into the Etiquette category. Charlotte, are you planning for a job interview, or a new position at your company/firm? I try to always make certain my shoes/accessories coordinate well with the rest of my clothing, as it is indicative of one’s ability to appear organized and mindful of appearance. That’s not to say that one is a bad person if she wears black shoes and brown pants; rather, others may take notice and wonder if one is so careless in all her dealings.

        As for heels, the correct heel height is the height at which you can ambulate without embarrassing yourself. I’m wearing three inch heels today, but there are some women with whom I work who are uncomfortable in anything other than flats. As long as we are all able to perform our duties well, heel height shouldn’t matter.

  2. Anne

    When receiving a thank you gift and card for opening one’s home to house guests, is a simple verbal acknowledgement of the gift or written thank you note the appropriate response? At what point does it become a ‘thank you for the thank you for the thank you’?

  3. Barb

    What’s proper about gift giving when girlfriends/boyfriends come to a family Christmas gathering at a grandparent’s house? A nephew is bringing a girlfriend who I was introduced to once. Should I give her a gift? Should my father give her the gift of money which he gives to his grandchildren?

    • Alicia

      There is no rules or required presents. That said a small token would be nice particularly if having to sit through hours of presents being opened it is nice to have something to open.

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