Open Thread

by epi on November 7, 2013

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

April November 10, 2013 at 6:29 pm

My daughter and her fiance want to include a note with the wedding invitation to their guests informing them that they don’t want gifts, but cash instead. Is this tacky, even in a separate letter or note? If not, what’s the best way to word it?

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Elizabeth November 10, 2013 at 9:31 pm

It is entirely inappropriate to mention gifts AT ALL in an invitation (whether printed on it, or enclosed in the envelope). This will make the guests feel as though they are only being invited for their gift. A wedding isn’t a fund-raising venture. The only way for this preference to become known is in response to a direct question. If a guest asks you or the bride/groom, they can indicate their preference then. They can also avoid creating a gift registry, or only a small one.

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scdeb November 10, 2013 at 9:42 pm

April,
There is no way to make asking for cash not tacky. Word of mouth might be a better course. Don’t include any gift ideas with the invitation. When people ask about the registry, and there should be at least one from which they can select a gift, close friends and relatives can say that the couple would love to have a check (cash) instead of a gift. Give a reason such as they are saving for the honeymoon or a house and most people would be happy to give the couple what they really want which is money. But I wouldn’t put it in writing & mail it out.

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