Open Thread

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.


  1. Wauneen R

    I will be hosting my 50th birthday celebration very soon. What would be the appropriate way to inform my guest that in lieu of gifts, (for lack of a better descriptor) a “wishing well” will be present? Kind of a sticky area in my opinion.



    • Alicia

      The reason you are struggling to find polite wording for this idea is that it is not a polite idea. Gifts should not be mentioned on an invite. Nor should gifts be expected and in particular mentioning gifts and then expecting money is taboo. So skip the sticky situation by not doing a money grab. You are an adult and mature adults should not act like gimmee pigs.
      Happy Birthday

  2. Patricia Brewe

    I had a friend ask me about Christmas gifts for his family. He has a daughter and a son. His daughter has a child, and his son does not. He ask should he lower the amount of monies he spends on his daughter’s/husband’s gift to spend on the grandchild since he will be spending more on her household than his sons. I told him to spend on each child the same and then buy for the grandchild separately. Maybe even start some new traditions. Was I right?

    • Alicia

      It really is up to your friend. He can do whatever however I am the only sibling without kids in my family and I would feel bad if my parents gave me gifts equal to what they gave my sisters and there kids. Keeping each generation close to equal is best.

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