Open Thread

by epi on October 30, 2013

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

CC October 30, 2013 at 2:14 pm

My question concerns including registry information on a baby shower invitiation itself. My hard copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette is packed away, so I searched the website and was very surprised to read that this is not proper. While it makes perfect sense to me to never include registry information on a wedding invitation, I do not feel the same about a baby shower since the purpose is to “shower” the mother-to-be with gifts. You might argue that the purpose is also to celebrate the birth of a child, but if that were the case, then showers for second and third babies wouldn’t be gauche. My final observation is that I think every baby shower invitation I have ever received has had registry information included on the invitation itself. All this said, I hate to run afoul of accepted etiquette or appear tacky to anyone, and would appreciate your opinions on this. Thanks!

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Winifred Rosenburg October 30, 2013 at 9:06 pm

If you would like to include registry info, it should be on a separate enclosure. (Many stores that have registries will give you cards that you can stick in the envelopes with the invitations.) This applies just to showers. As you pointed out, showers are given more leeway than other events because gifts are part of the definition. I’m not sure what the official reason for the separate enclosure rule is (if there is one) but I imagine registry info on the invitation itself gives the impression of instructions like the guest is required to bring a gift from the registry along with telling you where and when you should arrive. Whereas a separate enclosure has more of an FYI feel to it like a driving directions insert where they are free to travel a different way if they want.

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Elizabeth October 30, 2013 at 9:12 pm

Sorry WR, I promise that I didn’t read your response before posting mine!

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Winifred Rosenburg October 31, 2013 at 10:27 am

That’s quite alright! Your opinions are welcome!

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Elizabeth October 30, 2013 at 9:06 pm

We’ve definitely had this debate here before. On this issue, I agree with you. A shower is clearly held to gift the honoree. That is the express purpose of the event. As such, I see no reason to be coy about the registry information. Others have said they prefer if the registry info is not printed on the invite but is enclosed on a separate piece of paper. To me that is splitting hairs (and a waste of paper).

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CC December 19, 2013 at 2:43 pm

WR and Elizabeth, thank you for your input! WR, I appreciate the observation that people may feel bullied to select a gift from the registry. That makes sense to me.

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