Open Thread

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.


  1. Hannah Kaye

    I am going to a very good friend’s wedding in November. It is an afternoon wedding and I am wondering if it is inappropriate to wear a white lace dress to the wedding. Is it taking attention away from the bride to wear white?

    • Elizabeth

      It is generally considered improper to wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride. Even if she doesn’t mind, the other guests will almost certainly comment. I would choose something else. There’s also the rule about white after labor day…

      • Ruth Peltier

        While I agree with you about not wearing white to a wedding, I just have to comment on the white after labor day issue. Back in the days before heating and air conditioning were pretty universally used, it made sense to wear “cool” colors in the summer and “warm” ones in the winter. Howevcr, in this day and age it is really pretty silly. Etiquette needs to make sense in my oppinion.

    • Jody

      I think if you have a colored jacket over the white dress, it would be OK to wear. If, however, you weren’t planning on wearing a covering jacket I’d avoid wearing the white dress.

      I disagree with the “no white after Labor Day” rule and think that climate should be more the governing issue. I live on the East Coast and it remains quite hot well into fall. If the temperatures are in the 80s (today supposed to hit the mid- to high-80s), I’ll still wear my white jacket and shoes with my dresses.

      • I too live in a warmer clime (the high today will be over 90), but tend to avoid certain whites after Labor Day, if for no other reason than to keep with the feel of the seasons. I avoid white outfits (such as this dress in question), and I don’t wear white shoes. White pants or a white top, however, are an all-year thing for me.

        As for the original question – no, I would never wear a white dress to a wedding that wasn’t my own, and no, I wouldn’t wear an all-white dress after Labor Day unless it was a Dinner en Blanc party. There are so many other colors from which to choose.

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