Open Thread

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  1. scdeb

    In the mail today was an invitation for a house warming party. The envelope had an address label on it with my name and the return address contained a name I didn’t recognize. Inside was a cute little rhyme about packing up the old house and moving into a new one. The invitation was from a former co-worker and her fiancé inviting me to their new home in a town 2 hours away from me. I was not close to this person & never gave her my home address. The RSVP information was for her as well as for the friend named on the address label. The focus of the house warming seemed to be an effort to gain gifts or gift cards. There was an enclosure with a “bridal registry for a big box store” and then on the body of the letter at the bottom “Gift Cards welcome to: big box store 1, big box store 2, 3 etc.” Below that another mention of the bridal registry big box store and then a 2nd store where she was also registered. I guess this was just in case the enclosure card was lost! I was open mouthed as I looked at it. She is getting married in the spring and must have registered early just for this event. My questions are about the timing–she & fiancé moved 4 months ago into this rental house. Do people wait that long to have a party? And the quest for gifts even though a wedding is coming up? The couple lived together before the move. Are gifts customary and if so what sort of gifts? Also do friends usually give you a house warming party? The wording of the invitation said “we have moved” so it seemed that the couple was hosting. Very confusing and odd invitation.

    • Alicia

      RSVP no.
      Yes people often host their own housewarming parties but friends in that case are not expected to give gifts but instead to say nice things as given house tour. Small things like plants or kitchen towels would be appropriate. Four months in is reasonable as one needs to be unpacked and party ready. That said the registration for gifts and all is over the top and gifts are never mentioned on an invite. They are acting like gimmi pigs just decline and RSVP no.

      • Jo

        I would simply RSVP no, with no explanation, and don’t give it another thought! If this is a former co-worker, whom you were never close to in the first place, AND it’s two hours away, then forget it. The person probably doesn’t even expect you to attend, but likely hopes you’ll purchase something off the registry.

  2. scdeb

    Thank you for the clarification on this. There was a discussion at work today with most of the invitees deciding that the gift registration was a no-no. Two people thought it was odd but they were okay with it. Only one of us had ever been invited to a house warming & none of us had ever had one so we had no clue what was proper. I am following your advice & will be saying no.

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