Q: My brother just broke off his engagement with his fiance and the problem he faces is financial. His would have been father-in-law is demanding full payment of three things: Her dress, her shoes, and the deposit for the Las Vegas wedding package totaling $2,000.00.
He did not ask for the ring back nor did she give it back. The value of the ring alone would pay for these expenses, but I think everyone’s emotions are clouding everyone’s thought processes.
He is ready to just write a check today, but that is his because he is feeling guilty about hurting her and hurting this family.
What should he do? Request the ring back? Pay for the expenses? Ask for receipts for the expenses?
A: The ring is to be returned, regardless of the circumstances. It is not a gift, but rather a symbol of the engagement. If it ends, it is returned. The responsibility for the costs are his ex-fiancees, but it is always very nice when the former groom-to-be offers to help share the non-refundable costs. He should request the ring and offer to pay toward the costs, if he is able and willing, once he receives it. And yes, he should ask for receipts before paying a penny. He should not be “guilted” into subsidizing the entire amount or actually any amount, but if he is generously willing to help share the expenses, he needs to be treated honorably in return and be given an accounting of what he is paying toward.