Open Thread

by epi on August 13, 2013

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Nancy August 13, 2013 at 2:15 pm

I have a quandary and would like some guidance, and thank in advance for your answer.

My daughter-in-laws’ best friend is getting married. I would like to give her a gift even though I was not invited to her bridal shower, which my daughter-in-law is hosting this weekend. I have known her for 7 years and consider her part of my extended family as she is often in attendance at family gatherings. I understand not being included in the wedding but somewhat puzzled that I was not invited to her shower. Nonetheless, she is a lovely girl and I would like to give her something to wish her well, etc. My question is, should I drop it off at my daughter-in-laws’ house for the shower or send it to her directly, in which case I have to request her address from my daughter-in-law?

Thank you,



Alicia August 13, 2013 at 2:22 pm

It is very correct that given your not being invited to the wedding that you are not invited to the wedding shower. It would have been rude to invite you to the shower without being invited to the wedding. You are lovely to send a gift. It is appropriate either to have daughter give it at the shower or to send it. However I would send it as separated from the flury of gifts at the shower it will make a better impact.


Elizabeth August 13, 2013 at 2:34 pm

I would send the gift directly to her as a wedding gift, and not to the shower as a shower gift.


Cyra August 13, 2013 at 2:53 pm

I agree with Elizabeth, send the gift in congratulations of her wedding. Sending it as a shower gift seems to say, “Even though you didn’t invite me, here’s a gift.”


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