Open Thread

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.


  1. Rusty Shackleford

    Question about job hunting. I realize the job market is incredibly intense. Especially if you live in an area with a high concentration of federal government agencies that have been hit by the sequester. A number of large firms and staffing agencies have taken to, essentially resume collection. In other words, they will advertise for a position, collect resumes, conduct interviews, but not actually hire anyone. What is happening is these companies are collecting resumes to increase their competitive position when soliciting work. I can appreciate this is a very difficult economy, and the job market is pretty much a buyer’s market right now, but to the job seeker, this seems like an unfair waste of their time. To say nothing of the tremendous emotional drain on someone who is out of work, and searching in good faith for a new job. My question is this: Is it ever appropriate to ask, when offered an interview, if you are interviewing for a specific position, or general resume collection? Is there a more tactful way to broach that subject?

  2. Tarah

    Good afternoon,

    My fiance and I live in Washington, D.C. but are marrying in my hometown in Texas. We are having a smallish wedding, and I am not inviting many of my friends in D.C. However, I would like to celebrate with them in some way and one of my friends there has offered to throw us an engagement party.

    Is it acceptable for me to invite some of my D.C. friends and just explain that we are having a small, out of state wedding but would love for them to come to our party in town? I have heard that it is unnaceptable to invite people to a shower if not invited to the wedding, but am not sure that applies to engagement parties. We obviously have no expectation of gifts at the engagement party.

    Thank you for the advice!

    • Alicia

      Only those invited to the wedding get invited to the pre wedding events but a post wedding party would be a great solution.

  3. Ruth Peltier

    I have been ignoring this issue for awhile now when it comes up in this forum.

    However, I am going to state my feelings, even though they may differ from the majority. When a couple gets engaged, her friends naturally want to celebrate her engagement. The wedding might be far in the future. Surely the plans for it are not made yet.

    I understand about a shower, but I think an engagement party should stand alone, not be considered a part of the wedding and subject to the rules about weddings.

    Just my 2 cents.

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