Baby Shower: For An Adopted Baby

Q: What is the etiquette on when to throw a baby shower for someone who is adopting a baby? Shouldn’t the shower be after the adoption is complete and more of a welcome/meet baby shower?

A: A shower for the mother or father of an adopted baby should be exactly the same as any baby shower, except that with the invitations you may want to include the correct size for baby clothes, if the child is not a newborn, or the baby’s sex, if it is known. A shower may be given, as well, when the adopted child is not an infant but rather an older baby or even a toddler, since the celebration is for the arrival of the child as a new member of the family.


  1. Jody

    With respect to when a shower for an adopted baby should be given, I’d try to find out what the parents are comfortable with. Some parents don’t want any celebrations until the adoption is complete (one friend’s adoption fell through at the last minute when the birth mother changed her mind).

    • tiff

      That’s really no different a situation as would be if a pregnancy was miscarried or a stillborn birth. Things can occur at any point, but once that new child is in the picture, the new parents have a huge adjustment period, as would an adoptive child. So hosting the shower during the adjustment period could overwhelm everyone involved.

  2. Joanna

    Personally, I would have a “shower” for any new child, regardless of age. Even a ten-year-old might be coming from another country, from foster care, from an orphanage, etc. and still need just as many items to help start his or her new life. And even if he or she doesn’t, the “shower” is just as equally about celebrating this milestone event, meeting all the new family and friends in one spot, etc.

  3. Becky

    I’m with Jody. And that really applies to natural birth parents as well. I have a friend that had numerous miscarriages at various terms of her previous pregnancies. She couldn’t face any kind of shower until the baby was safely in her arms. (which she did, plus two more within 5 years).

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