Open Thread

by epi on July 16, 2013

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This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

patti July 18, 2013 at 8:16 am

My son is a college senior and has been invited to his girlfriend’s brother’s wedding out of state. He will be staying at girlfriend’s parents’ house and is included in all pre-wedding festivities….rehearsal, golf outing for groomsmen, etc.

Should I send something to the house for hosting my son and to acknowledge the event?

What’s an appropriate gift for him to give?

Thanks.

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Elizabeth July 18, 2013 at 8:45 am

Since your son is a college senior and no longer a minor, he should really be doing all of those things himself. Yes, it would be appropriate for him to give a hostess gift, for him to give a nice wedding present (within his means), and then send a note of thanks later to his girlfriend’s parents for hosting him (and to whoever else for including him in all of those no doubt costly activities). He should also be a gracious guest while there, helpful but unobtrusive. Since he is an adult now, he may chafe at your suggesting that he do these things, all of your good teachings may have already sunk in! If he asks for advice (or if he asks you to help supplement the cost of the gifts), you can by all means help him.

However, it is not necessary for you to send something as his parent as thanks for hosting him. They are not doing you the favor, he has been invited on his own steam.

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