Open Thread

by epi on July 30, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

csanchez July 31, 2013 at 3:04 pm

My daughter is getting married in a few months, but she lives in HI. Is there an appropriate way to say that e-gifts and gift cards are preferred? This is especially because, due to her location, no bridal shower is planned at this time.

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Alicia July 31, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Gifts are never mentioned. Gift info is pull not push info. If people ask what the couple would like then they may be told that money and gift cards are preferred. If they do not ask then one must simply hope that people are sensible. Many people will ship the gifts if tangible gifts directly to the home of the couple instead of bringing them to the wedding.

I am not sure what you mean by an e- gift but the same rules apply. People may only be told when they ask.

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a.r. miller July 31, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Is it customary to invite the parents of the maid of honor and/or best man at a formal wedding? Also if one is not invited but till considers oneself a close friend of the parents of the groom would sending a gift to a wedding be gauche?

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Elizabeth July 31, 2013 at 6:56 pm

It is not customary or required to invite the parents or the maid of honor or best man. (Many times the maid of honor or best man is a sibling, and then their parents are there by default, but if the MOH or BM is a friend – no.) Wedding presents can certainly be given even in absence of an invitation to the wedding. Some weddings are small or distant or just can’t accommodate everyone. If you have warm feelings for the bride or groom and want to give them a present, you may certainly do so.

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Alicia August 1, 2013 at 12:47 am

Sending a gift is never gauche. One would not expect the parents of the maid of honor or best man to be invited unless they were family or very close to the bride or groom. I’ve been a maid of honor 7 times and the only 2 times my folks were invited was when it was my sisters weddings. Never for the 5 friends.

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