1. Carla

    What is an appropriate way to suggest that guests to the bridal shower and/or wedding give cash/checks/gift cards to a bride and groom who are getting married in the States but who will then be living and working in Europe ? It will be impossible to ship numerous gifts. Should it be noted on a shower invitation that the couple’s preference is for cash/checks or gifts cards? Or should it just be passed on in conversation among family members and friends?

    • Alicia

      Showers are about physical gifts. If physical gifts are not wanted but just the party then hold a bridal tea or bridal lunch and take the focus away from physical gifts.
      Guests are smart and will if they know the couple is moving to Europe give gifts that travel well like small items or money. (gift cards are not actually good in that case in that us gift cards can not be used in Europe.) But showers are about physical presents and unwrapping so expect physical presents if ask for or agree to a shower.
      If you are the host then change the party to a tea or lunch or some non present focused thing if couple do not want physical presents.

    • Wedding gift info should never go on either the shower or wedding invitation. Thus, gift requests will always be word-of-mouth, or via website, or in any case at the organisation of the bride and bridal party. So you have the opportunity here to inform any inquiring guests of the couple’s future residence situation.

      If they plan to live in Europe shortly after the wedding, and are not able to transport wedding gifts from their home country, they could always register in the country where they will be living (most major stores in Western Europe do this in some form or another).

  2. Rachele Nelson

    Im trying to figure out how to word baby shower invitations for my son and his girlfriend, my biggest problem is that there is a small chance it may not be his? She wants the shower before the baby is born so after birth and a paternity test are out… How should I / we handle this? My oyher delima is what happens after the baby is here and if they find out that it is not our sons, will they or should they be expected to return gifts from our side of the family? As farbas e can tell our son and his girlfriend are planning to stay together regardless, although sometimes its is hard to see that as possuble.
    Granddaughter to be?

    • Alicia

      If they stay together and raise this baby together this is your grandkid regardless of DNA. Do not throw shower until ready to accept this.
      DNA is not a shower issue. So wording is same. No mention of paternity issues just please attend a shower in honor of mom to be.
      Gifts are for baby regardless of dna and do not get returned.

    • Dear Rachele,

      Typically, showers are thrown by the honoree’s friends, not family, unless it is going to be a family-only party. The reasoning behind this is that someone’s family members should not be soliciting gifts from that person’s friends. If you’re uncomfortable throwing this shower, this is your out.

      If you are wanting to throw this shower, then Alicia is totally right that since the party is for the mom-to-be, there is no need to mention the father at all. If this woman isn’t close enough to the rest of your family for them to know who she is without reference to your son, then there probably isn’t a reason to invite them to her shower.

      Best of luck!

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