Are you a goer or a thrower?

by epi on July 15, 2013

Q: When it comes to parties, I’m always a goer never a thrower. Is that rude?

A: It’s rude not to reciprocate in some way, but it doesn’t have to be in kind. If you’re not fond of cooking or having parties at your house, and your budget allows, take small groups of friends out to dinner or invite them to a ball game or a play. Or, have them over in small gatherings for cocktails, or dessert and coffee.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Joanna July 17, 2013 at 11:21 am

I had a “friend” (not so much, but really an acquaintance, who is close to some of my close friends) who always came happily to parties at my home, often even bringing along uninvited friends of her own (not a boyfriend or anything, but rather, random people, like a co-worker…) Even though it’s a custom in our circle to bring something, she never did. Meanwhile she never, ever, not even ONCE, invited anyone to her own home.

Finally I just stopped inviting her, waiting to see what would happen. She not only didn’t invite me afterward, but basically never contacted me in any way either, not even when she knew I was injured seriously and all our friends came by to see if I needed anything. Thus, that gave me the answer that she was not just a “goer” but a “user.”

If LW truly cares about his/her friends and doesn’t want to lose them, definitely, have them over at least once, or else take them out, something to show it.


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