Homecoming Hitch: Young couples

by epi on July 5, 2013

Q: My son and his girlfriend are students at a nearby college, and we’ve invited them to spend Thanksgiving break with us. The problem is, they’ve been living together for six months, a situation we’re not happy with. How should we handle the sleeping arrangements?

A: Parents have a right to insist that their standards be observed in their own home. Before the visit, let your son know what the sleeping arrangements will be: “We’re really looking forward to your visit. You can stay in your old room and Becky can stay in the guest room.” Stand your ground. Just be sure to let your feelings be known from the start – not when he and his girlfriend are carrying their bags into the house.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Lilli July 8, 2013 at 11:21 am

I agree completely. I would add that it’s best to leave your disapproval of their living situation out of it. I would also suggest the rule be the same for other couples you have visiting to make it easier on yourselves. You can say matter-of-factly that you do not allow unmarried couples to sleep in the same bed at your house, period. It’s not a specific reflection of your feelings toward your son and his girlfriend, it’s just house rules.

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LJL July 8, 2013 at 11:31 am

My father’s solution was to offer to take our bags up to the room for us. He place my bag in my room, my sweetie’s in another. Problem solved. We got the message and have enough respect for my parents to abide by their rules when we are in their house.

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Heather July 8, 2013 at 8:15 pm

I really like this! Sent the message without having an awkward conversation.

I’m sure this couple already knows whether their son is the type to quietly take the suggestion, or the type to stubbornly move his bags where he wants them! If the latter, they will unfortunately have to talk it through ahead of time.

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