“And guest”: What does it mean?

by epi on June 12, 2013

Q: What does “and guest” mean when written on an invitation? Does it mean you may bring someone of your choice but you personally are invited to attend, or does it mean if you don’t bring a guest, you stay home?

A: When you receive an invitation addressed to you “and guest,” it means you may bring a guest of your choice or you may attend alone.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Jody June 12, 2013 at 6:27 am

I received an invitation to a friend’s wedding that was addressed to me “and guest.” I interpreted it the same way EPI did, that the bride was telling me I was welcome to bring somebody with me. I attended alone, but when I RSVP’d I made sure I told the bride that I would be attending alone. That way she could adjust her plans/seating for the wedding dinner and not allow for an extra meal that would not be eaten.

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Donna June 13, 2013 at 2:42 pm

I am marrying soon and sent invitations to several singles, anticipating they and a guest at most, though it was addressed only to the person without “and guest”. Received one back today with at total of six (6) attending. There were a brother and sister and spouses invited separately, and I don’t know if this number 6 covers them or are just others that were invited by the invitee. I want to call the person and politely ask who’s being included. No indication on RSVP, and no phone call from the person to ask if this would cause a financial crunch. This is a low-key limited budget. What should I do? ONe person has said it’ll be okay because others won’t show, but another feels as I do that I should handle this asap. I don’t want to be rude, but I won’t be a door mat either. We also expect there may be wedding crashers at the reception and I’d like advice on how to handle that. I was taught that one doesn’t crash parties, nor invite extras to parties that only I was invited to. I guess good manners are more rare than they used to be.

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Elizabeth June 13, 2013 at 3:12 pm

You should handle this swiftly and directly. Call and say that you were confused when you received her/his response card and it had 6 people listed. Listen to what the person has to say. If the 6 people are indeed people that you invited, then definitely call and double check with those people. (This person may not have been authorized to respond for other family members.) If they say it’s for their boyfriend and his 4 kids or something, apologize and state that the invitation was for this person only, and that you cannot accommodate additional guests. (Don’t get into why. It doesn’t matter if it’s budget, space, or you just don’t want them. Explaining yourself will only open you up to questioning.) Say, “we’d still love to have you there, though.” If they state that they cannot come without the entourage, then say, “I’m sorry, we’ll look forward to seeing you another time, then.”

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Mary June 29, 2013 at 8:37 am

Q: if you are invited to attend a wedding as a guest of the brother of the groom should you take a gift or card?

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Elizabeth July 1, 2013 at 10:03 am

It depends. Do you know the bride and groom? Would you like to give them something just from you? Are you dating the brother of the groom seriously or just going as a casual thing? Is it possible to go in on the gift that the brother (your date) will be giving to the bride and groom? I would discuss this with your date, ask if it’s possible to contribute to his gift and sign his card (if that’s what you’d like), or give a card and gift yourself. It if proper etiquette to give a gift when attending a wedding, so unless your date tells you that he has ‘covered’ you with his gift and card, it would be best to give your own.

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