Q: My boyfriend’s son comes from college to visit and when he brings his friends into our home, he feels that there are no rules. He brings home friends, alcohol, girls, and last but not least, his father has to run about to introduce himself to his son’s friends. Do you think these actions are appropriate?
A: It is to be expected that when your boyfriend’s son brings friends to visit he first asks permission, and then of course introduces them when they arrive. It is also perfectly correct to have house rules about hours, alcohol and behavior. You need to work this through with your boyfriend however, sharing your feelings and your expectations. It is important to keep in mind that if underage youths are drinking in your home, you are liable, for it is against the law. Any problems that occur would be your problems. It may be that your boyfriend is hesitant to “lay down the law” for he wants his son to visit, but it is perfectly acceptable to have standards and expect his son to abide by them, and they all need to listen to and respect your wishes when this is discussed.