Open Thread

by Daniel Post Senning on May 31, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Ann June 2, 2013 at 3:19 pm

In December, 2012 I got engaged, but postponed celebrating it because just after I got engaged my father was diagnosed with cancer and had to start chemotherapy treatment. I made extra effort to help my parents throughout the chemo, spending atleast half of each week at my parents, to help them and give my mother a break. Mid-May, 2013 my Dad’s chemo finished and so far he is doing well (knock on wood)!
Week after my Dad completed chemo, my parents wanted to visit the venue my fiance and I liked, and they loved it, so we signed the contract and now have wedding date set in beginning of May, 2014! Less than one week later, my only sibling, announced he proposed to his girlfriend, who none of my family has met yet and not certain when we will meet her yet.
My brother is one of the groomsmen, should I have his fiance’ as a bridesmaid, even though I have not met her?


Elizabeth June 2, 2013 at 4:21 pm

Ann, no I do not think that you will be expected to ask your brother’s fiancee to be in your wedding party. Your bridal party should be composed of your intimates, people who know and love you, who will be there to help you in a variety of capacities. You may consider a seating arrangement at your wedding that allows the plus-ones of the bridal party to sit with them. (For instance, I didn’t have a ‘head’ table at the front of the room facing out, but rather a very large table in the middle of the room where we sat with our entire bridal party (along with all of their spouses/partners. Alternatively, you could do a sweetheart table with just the bride and groom.)


Alicia June 2, 2013 at 10:31 pm

Absolutely not. She should be invited to the wedding and in some of the family photos but even if she were your sister in law you would not have to ask her to be a bridesmaid.


Gertrude June 3, 2013 at 9:31 am

I had all of my sisters as bridesmaids and I did not ask their spouses to be groomsmen. The spouses were totally fine with it. It wasn’t even a thing. At the reception, I had one table for the bridesmaids and their dates, and another table for the groomsmen and their dates.


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