Open Thread

by Daniel Post Senning on May 22, 2013

Welcome to the Etiquette Daily

This open thread is your space to use as you like. We invite you to discuss current and traditional etiquette. Feel free to ask questions of each other and the community moderators here.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Lindsey May 22, 2013 at 3:51 pm

My question regarding etiquette has to do with giving and receiving a compliment in the company of a group. When the group applauds, who is being recognized? The person who gave the compliment or the person who received the complement? Thanks!

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Cyra May 22, 2013 at 5:58 pm

Hi Lindsey,

I would assume the applause is for the person receiving the honor. Why, then, we applaud when the recipient is not present I have no idea. I actually attended a meeting yesterday where 4 awards were given, and not one recipient was there! We clapped after each announcement nonetheless, which felt a bit awkward to me.

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Alicia May 22, 2013 at 11:13 pm

I think it is both. Applause is in some way saying hey I agree with the compliment. So it sort of says I agree with the person saying that the honoree is worthy of honor.

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Frustrated Mm May 25, 2013 at 9:09 pm

My adult son (age 35) hates when I introduce him to other people. I feel it is rude to not acknowledge who he is when a situation presents itself. Please give me your opinion. Thank you.

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Elizabeth May 26, 2013 at 10:33 am

I can’t quite imagine the scenario – you and your son are out at the farmer’s market and you run into an acquaintance who doesn’t know your son. You stop to chat for a moment, and you pause to say, “Oh Mrs. Smith, this is my son George. George, this is Mrs. Smith who I used to work with at X Corp.”

He gets upset at this??? Bewildering. Would he prefer that you leave him awkwardly hanging about? Not quite part of the conversation, but obviously accompanying you? Perhaps you should explain that it is not only for his benefit, but also for the comfort of your acquaintances who most definitely would feel awkward, eyeing your friend and wanting to include him in the conversation, but not knowing who he is or what relation he is to you.

Perhaps your son does not know how to respond, and that is why he wants to avoid these introductions? Perhaps giving him a slim volume on social niceties would be helpful, or maybe role-playing appropriate responses?

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Alicia May 27, 2013 at 4:16 am

Are you doing a simple introduction like Elizabeth said or are you then making the conversation all about your son and either bragging or complaining about him? I know several friends who hate when parents introduce them because then the conversation then becomes all about either how great or awful they are. I’ve visiting my folks this weekend and honestly if my mom introduces me once more and then immediately tells the person how I’m the only one who is disappointingly not married and has not given her grandkids I think I will scream. I have a friend who complains that his mom goes into brag mode whenever she introduces him. I am not the only friend of mine who gets these sorts of introduction insult from their parents. If the introduction is the same as you would introduce a friend then I do not get it. But I truly sometimes wish my own mother would stop introducing me. So think about how you are doing the introduction. If you are truly doing the same introduction as you would of a friend that is with you then the issue is your sons. But if not then I think switching to a introduction that is the same as your would with a friend may help.

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